Breaking: ESPN Removes Brittney Griner from GOAT List, “She’s Not a Good Person”
In a shocking and somewhat baffling move that has left the sports world buzzing, ESPN has decided to remove Brittney Griner, one of the most dominant figures in women’s basketball, from their prestigious GOAT (Greatest of All Time) list. The reason? According to an anonymous source within the network, Griner was deemed “not a good […]
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Elon Musk: “We Should Get Rid Of All Electronic Voting Machines”
In an unexpected twist that has left both tech enthusiasts and political analysts scratching their heads, Elon Musk, the billionaire entrepreneur known for his innovative ventures and futuristic visions, has made a bold proclamation: it’s time to get rid of all electronic voting machines. Yes, the man who wants to colonize Mars, implant chips in […]
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Breaking: Colin Kaepernick’s Plea to Participate in the Olympics 2024 Rejected Instantly by the Committee, “You’re Too Woke for the Game”
Folks, wake up and smell the coffee. The former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been ditched for getting into the Olympics 2024. But why? Because the Olympics has rejected his application, saying, *You are too woke for the game.” YES!!! You heard it right. Oh, come on! The boy wants to get in… let him […]
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Breaking: Netflix Loses Almost 10 Million Subscribers in a Day After Big Donation
Hello America! Let me stun you guys with Netflix’s recent gigantic loss. Yes, you got it right. But why? What went wrong? Why did users get offended? Well, folks, hold down… Netflix’s CEO and Co-Founder, Wilmot Reed Hastings Jr., just donated $7 million to Kamala Harris’ presidential campaign. But wait… This big buck donation is […]
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Breaking: Netflix Suffers a Loss of $10 Million in A Day After Going Woke
Netflix faced a huge backlash from netizens for their bold move to save the world. Netflix has become the weakest streaming platform on earth, woah! And what happened? They lost $10 million just in a day, damn! The same Netflix that used to give you a bird box will now bring you to the grand […]
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Breaking: Denzel Washington Drops Out of $500 Million Project With Netflix, “The Company Has Gone Woke”
The Hollywood A-lister actor and Oscar-winning star, none other than “Denzel Washington,” has left everyone speechless and sent shockwaves through the world. Denzel has just dropped the flagship project with Netflix because he can’t tolerate their “wokeness” anymore. In an exclusive interview, Denzel shared his thoughts about his bold move. (Obviously, he can afford such […]
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Breaking: Bud Light Becomes Major Sponsor of Olympics 2024 After Most Non-Woke Companies Drop Out
In a turn of events that has both left jaws dropping and social media buzzing, Bud Light has become the major sponsor of the 2024 Paris Olympics. This comes after a mass exodus of traditionally conservative, non-woke companies, who have decided to drop out of sponsoring the event, citing concerns over what they view as […]
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Breaking: George Clooney Vows to Leave America Soon: “I Just Can’t Take it Anymore”
In an unexpected twist, George Clooney came out of the blue with a bombshell announcement that he’s fed up with America while he was gesturing to his perfectly chiseled hairline. Yes, folks, you have read it right, this silver fox himself is vowing to leave the country he’s grown tired of. He declared, “I just […]
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Breaking: Samsung Drops Out of $1 Billion Advertising Campaign with Olympics, “They’ve Gone Woke”
In a surprising and highly publicized move, Samsung Electronics has announced its withdrawal from a $1 billion advertising campaign with the International Olympic Committee (IOC). The decision comes in response to what the company describes as the Olympics’ increasingly “woke” agenda, a stance that has stirred significant debate within both corporate and sporting worlds. Samsung […]
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Breaking: The Ellen DeGeneres Show Is Getting Canceled Soon, “Enough of This Woke Crap”
In a turn of events that has left Hollywood buzzing, “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” is reportedly on the brink of cancellation. After years of dominating daytime television, the show has seen a dramatic decline in viewership and popularity. The reason, many argue, is a relentless pursuit of woke culture that has alienated its core audience. […]
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