AOC
Satire

AOC’s Speaker Pitch Gets Laughed Out of Democrat Breakfast, “She Wouldn’t Get 30 Votes”

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had a big announcement at a Democratic strategy breakfast this week. Her colleagues thought it was a bit. The New York congresswoman stood up during the closed-door meeting and nominated herself for Speaker of the House. Almost the whole room thought she was joking and burst out laughing. “We honestly thought it was […]

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Sophie Cunningham Riley Gaines
Satire

Sophie Cunningham Named SI Woman of the Year, “Riley Gaines Should Be the One Handing It to Me”

Sophie Cunningham is having a big year, and Sports Illustrated just made it official. The magazine has named the WNBA star its Woman of the Year, calling her one of the most important voices in sports today. Editors said they didn’t spend much time debating it. “Between what she does in games and how she […]

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Kurt Russell Zohran Mamdani
Satire

Kurt Russell Scraps New York Move After 30 Years in Florida, “The City Has Really Gone to Hell”

Kurt Russell went back to New York City for the first time in years. He didn’t like what he found. The actor, best known to a generation of fans as Snake Plissken in “Escape from New York,” says the trip “reminded me a little too much” of the movie. And that wasn’t meant as a […]

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Nick Shirley George Soros
Satire

Nick Shirley Links Dea*h Threats to Soros Network, “I Was Able to Track Them Down in Under 24 Hours”

Nick Shirley is used to making people angry. He wasn’t expecting dea*h threats. The independent journalist, who has built a big following with his street-level video reports, says he has received dozens of threatening messages over the past month. Some warned him to stop reporting. Others described exactly what would happen to him if he […]

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Jennifer Lawrence Kevin Costner
Satire

Jennifer Lawrence Let Go From Costner Film Within an Hour, “She Found a Dozen Things That Offended Her”

Jennifer Lawrence’s time on Kevin Costner’s new film was over almost before it started. The actress showed up for her first day on set this week and was gone by the afternoon, according to members of the production. Costner’s team says she simply wasn’t a fit for the project, and Costner wasn’t willing to wait […]

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Jane Fonda Zohran Mamdani
Satire

Jane Fonda Warns New York, Says She’s Done With Mamdani, “I Saw How Evil Communists Really Are”

Of all the people to turn against Zohran Mamdani, few saw this coming. Jane Fonda says she’s had enough of New York’s mayor. The 88-year-old actress, who has backed progressive causes for more than half a century, ripped into Mamdani’s agenda during an interview this week. She said his policies amount to “a bridge to […]

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Maxine Waters Mike Johnson
Satire

Maxine Waters’ Seat Could Sit Empty Until November After 55 Missed Days Make Her a “Disassociated Member”

After 55 days of not showing up to work, Maxine Waters has officially been labeled a “disassociated member” of the U.S. House of Representatives. The designation, which almost never comes up, applies to members who go an extended period without voting, attending hearings, or carrying out their duties. Waters crossed that line this week, according […]

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Rob Schneider Jennifer Aniston
Satire

Rob Schneider Fires Classy Shot at Jennifer Aniston, “A Shame She’s Not Working”

Jennifer Aniston took a swipe at Rob Schneider’s politics this week. Schneider answered with a smile, and a joke that’s been making the rounds ever since. Aniston went after the comedian in an interview, saying his political views were “a little sad” and that Hollywood had outgrown people who think like him. The remarks caught […]

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Sylvester Stallone Al Gore
Satire

Stallone Recalls Shutting Down Al Gore’s Climate Lecture to His Daughter, “I’d Knock His Teeth Out”

Sylvester Stallone has a story about Al Gore, and it doesn’t make the former vice president look very good. Speaking in a recent interview, the action star said he came close to knocking Gore’s teeth out at a documentary premiere in the early 2000s. The reason, he said, was simple. Gore wouldn’t stop lecturing his […]

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John Fetterman Hillary Clinton
Satire

Fetterman Says Hillary Should Be Behind Bars, “If It’s Not Benghazi, It’s Uranium One”

Senator John Fetterman went on CNN this week and said something no Democrat was supposed to say. Hillary Clinton, he told Jake Tapper, belongs behind bars. The moment came during an interview on “The Lead.” Tapper had asked Fetterman about Republican efforts to revisit old investigations into Clinton, expecting what most Democrats usually say, that […]

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