Esspots -

Satire

Robert De Niro Faces A Roomful Of Boos At Georgia Commencement Ceremony, “Get Outta Here”

The sound arrived before the headline did. In a warm Georgia gymnasium, at a film-school commencement that had been advertised as a once-in-a-lifetime morning, Robert De Niro met a roomful of boos and, for a moment, did not seem to believe them. He had been rolling through a political speech that wandered, doubled back, and […]

Satire

Hillary Clinton Says Today’s Democratic Party Is A Pale Imitation Of Its Former Self, “Men Don’t Give Birth”

The quote that left the building first was not the job refusal, although that one packed a suitcase too. It was Hillary Clinton saying the Democratic Party feels like a pale copy of itself, delivered with the dry timing of someone who has sat through too many tribute videos. She was in a comfortable chair, […]

Satire

Gavin Newsom And Nancy Pelosi Accused Of Blocking Federal Investigators In California, DOJ Is Investigating Them

Gavin Newsom and Nancy Pelosi did not whisper their answer. When the Justice Department said it wanted federal observers in the room for California’s vote count, the two of them treated the request like a leaky faucet: loud, dripping, and not invited to stay. The department had framed the idea as a simple courtesy. Let […]

Satire

Jen Psaki’s Russia Attack Backfires After Ingraham Brings Up Her White House Record, “Circle Back To That”

Jen Psaki went looking for a clean hit and found a boomerang. On her show she accused Laura Ingraham of shilling for Russia, delivering the line with the confidence of someone who expected it to travel, and maybe even to sting. It traveled. It also came back with luggage. Ingraham devoted a chunk of her […]

Satire

James Carville Calls Jesse Watters Looking For A Fight, Watters Hangs Up: “Only Therapy Can Make You Unwoke”

James Carville calls Jesse Watters looking for a fight and gets something colder: a short hearing, a sharper verdict, and a hang-up that leaves the argument talking to itself. The show is live. The topic is politics, which in Carville’s mouth means a sermon with elbows. He starts in hard, naming enemies, praising old battles, […]

Satire

Todd Blanche Wants Jack Smith’s Mar-a-Lago Team Put Before A Grand Jury, “It’s Time To Investigate Them”

Jack Smith arrives at the event early, which is either professionalism or a strategy for choosing a chair that faces the exit. Todd Blanche arrives on time with a speech that has clearly been rehearsed on every available reflective surface. Blanche opens by praising standards, then spends the next several minutes describing how Smith’s former […]

Satire

Bernie Sanders And Elizabeth Warren Face Possible Legal Trouble Over Biden-Era Autopen

Bernie Sanders walks into a campaign workroom, sees a tower of envelopes, and asks whether the building has been converting paper into furniture. Elizabeth Warren follows him in, measures the stack with her eyes, and says the fundraising letters have gotten ahead of the humans again. Staff explain the autopen schedule. It is efficient. It […]

Satire

Dylan Mulvaney Caught On Camera Damaging Bud Light Advertising At UFC Ring

Dylan Mulvaney’s name has once again become connected to Bud Light, but this time there is no advertising campaign or corporate partnership involved. Instead, the influencer is at the center of an alleged incident involving a Bud Light logo at a UFC fighting ring outside the White House. According to the account, Mulvaney arrived in […]

Satire

Danny Trejo’s Immigration Advocacy Comes Back To Haunt Him After Drug Trafficking Arrests

Danny Trejo may have found himself facing some uncomfortable questions after four refugees he reportedly supported became connected to a drug trafficking investigation. The Hollywood actor has never been shy about his views on immigration. Over the years, he has repeatedly spoken in favor of immigrants and criticized politicians who have called for tougher enforcement […]

Satire

First Muslim Senator Abdul El-Sayed Expected To Take Oath On The Holy Quran During His Swearing-In Ceremony

Abdul El-Sayed is getting ready for his arrival in the United States Senate, and his upcoming swearing-in ceremony is already attracting attention across the country. The Michigan Democrat made history with his election victory, becoming the first Muslim ever elected to the U.S. Senate. Now, there is growing interest in whether he will use the […]