Tim Walz Is Thinking of Moving to China: “Maybe I should just move to China, Seems like I’d fit right in over there”
In a stunning twist that’s sending shockwaves through both political circles and fortune cookie manufacturers, Minnesota Governor and Democratic vice-presidential nominee Tim Walz has reportedly announced he’s considering a move to China. Yes, you read that right. In the midst of the 2024 election cycle, the governor of the land of 10,000 lakes is apparently […]
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It’s Official: Texas Declares Bringing a Pride Flag to the Classroom a Crime
In a move that’s sure to send shockwaves through classrooms and craft supply stores alike, Texas has officially passed a law making it a crime to bring a Pride flag to school. Yes, you heard that right—a crime. As in, “break out the handcuffs and call the sheriff, we’ve got a rainbow situation in Room […]
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Mark Wahlberg Rejects Disney’s $2 Billion Project: “No Chance I’ll Work With Them Again, Don’t Need That Wokeness in My Life”
In a shocking and self-assured move, Hollywood superstar Mark Wahlberg has turned down a $2 billion offer from Disney to star in its latest blockbuster project, citing a staunch refusal to be associated with the company’s growing “wokeness.” “I’m done. No chance I’ll work with them again. I don’t need that wokeness in my life,” […]
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New England Patriots Coach Makes It Absolutely Clear, ‘There Won’t Be Any Anthem Kneeling in the Upcoming Match’
In a move that has stirred up both cheers and controversy, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick has reportedly made it clear to his players that kneeling during the national anthem will not be tolerated in the upcoming game. The declaration, delivered in his signature gruff manner, has sent shockwaves through the NFL community, […]
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