Primanti Bros. Sues Manager Who Refused to Serve J.D. Vance for $10 Million
In a bizarre twist that no one saw coming—except, perhaps, those who have watched politics blend with fast food—Primanti Bros. has filed a $10 million lawsuit against the manager who refused to serve Republican vice-presidential nominee J.D. Vance at their North Versailles location. What started as a simple “no entry” has now snowballed into a […]
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Primanti Bros. Loses Almost $20 Million Overnight Due to Boycott
In what can only be described as the most disastrous culinary collapse since the Great Bacon Shortage of 2019, Pittsburgh’s iconic sandwich chain, Primanti Bros., has reportedly lost nearly $20 million overnight. The shocking financial hit comes as a result of a rapidly spreading boycott ignited by the controversial barring of Republican vice-presidential nominee J.D. […]
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Tim Walz Permanently Banned from College Games After Facing Loud Boos: “Get Outta Here!”
In what can only be described as the ultimate red card of public humiliation, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has reportedly been permanently banned from attending college football games after facing a thunderous wave of boos at the Michigan-Minnesota matchup on Saturday. The governor, who had hoped to enjoy a leisurely afternoon at “The Big House” […]
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