In a plot twist no one saw coming, ABC has officially declared that it’s bowing out of the presidential debate business, citing both financial strain and a backlash of epic proportions. After years of hosting these political slugfests, ABC executives have finally thrown in the towel, reportedly muttering, “We can’t afford it,” as they exited the debate stage for the last time. The dramatic decision has sent shockwaves through the media world, with Fox News already stepping up to grab the spotlight for the next debate, ready to capitalize on what they see as an opportunity to “do it right.”
For those who have ever tuned in to an ABC-hosted debate, this news might be both surprising and, for some, a long time coming. Let’s be honest—watching ABC’s moderators juggle the chaos of Trump-era debates often felt like watching someone try to wrestle a tornado into submission. And with the 2024 election cycle turning into a political circus that makes the 2020 debates look like a polite tea party, ABC finally decided they’d had enough.
The proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back? The much-hyped 2024 Trump vs. Kamala Harris debate. What was supposed to be an intellectual exchange of ideas (or at least a decent mudslinging match) quickly descended into a fact-checking fiasco and a moderator meltdown.
ABC moderators David Muir and Linsey Davis seemed to be playing referee in a match that no one asked for, constantly interrupting Trump’s colorful commentary with real-time corrections. Whether it was Trump’s claims about Democrats supporting “baby executions” or his theory that immigrants were stealing pets in Ohio for “barbecues,” the moderators were on high alert to stop the misinformation train before it could derail.
Unfortunately for ABC, fact-checking a candidate in real-time didn’t exactly sit well with half the country. Trump supporters were quick to cry foul, accusing the network of bias. ABC, it seemed, had managed to alienate a significant portion of its viewership in under 90 minutes. In the days following the debate, social media was flooded with outrage, conspiracy theories, and calls for a boycott. The network’s executives, who had hoped for a ratings bonanza, instead found themselves fielding angry calls from advertisers and losing viewers by the minute.
Faced with plummeting ratings, advertiser pullouts, and the growing cost of security (thanks to the unrelenting mob of angry Twitter users and conspiracy theorists camped outside ABC’s headquarters), the network made the tough call to exit the debate game altogether. In a refreshingly candid statement, an ABC spokesperson said, “It turns out hosting these debates is more expensive than we thought. Between fact-checking, riot control, and paying moderators to keep a straight face, we just can’t afford it anymore.”
The spokesperson went on to lament the network’s struggle to balance journalistic integrity with the need for entertainment. “We wanted to provide a platform for serious political discourse, but apparently, that doesn’t play well with today’s audiences. People don’t tune in to debates for the truth—they tune in for the spectacle. And quite frankly, we’re tired of paying for it.”
Enter Fox News, the media giant that has never shied away from controversy—or a good ratings opportunity. The moment ABC made its retreat, Fox was ready and waiting, announcing that it would take over the hosting duties for the next debate. And according to insiders, Fox is more than happy to ditch the fact-checking in favor of a debate that promises to be pure, unfiltered entertainment.
“We’re thrilled to take over the debate hosting,” said a Fox executive with a grin that suggested he was already counting the ad revenue. “At Fox, we believe in letting candidates speak their minds—no matter how ‘creative’ those minds might be. Our viewers don’t want a play-by-play fact-check, they want a show. And we’re going to give it to them.”
Fox News has already hinted at plans to spice up the debate format, possibly adding a “wild card” round where candidates can address conspiracy theories or hypothetical scenarios (think: “What would you do if aliens invaded during your presidency?”). It’s exactly the kind of unpredictable, ratings-driven spectacle that Fox thrives on—and one that’s likely to pull in viewers by the millions.
ABC’s decision to step down from hosting debates raises an important question about the future of political discourse: Is fact-checking dead? In an era where truth is increasingly seen as subjective and “alternative facts” reign supreme, networks like ABC, which try to hold candidates accountable in real-time, are finding themselves on the losing end of the ratings battle.
For many, ABC’s exit marks the end of an era. It was one of the few networks that still clung to the notion that debates should serve as a forum for truth and accountability. But as the 2024 election unfolds, it’s becoming clear that voters aren’t looking for a debate—they’re looking for a showdown. And when it comes to high-stakes political theater, fact-checking is just an unwelcome distraction.
ABC, in its parting words, seemed to recognize this shift. “We tried,” the spokesperson said. “We really did. But at the end of the day, people want drama, not details. So, we’re handing the reins over to Fox, where the only fact that matters is how high the ratings are.”
With Fox News now in charge, it’s safe to say that the next debate will be less about truth and more about keeping viewers entertained. Expect fireworks, wild accusations, and perhaps even a few surprise celebrity moderators (rumors are already swirling that Tucker Carlson has reached out to Kanye West for a guest appearance).
But for those hoping for a serious, substantive debate? Well, you might want to look elsewhere—or invest in some popcorn. Because if Fox’s track record is anything to go by, the next debate is shaping up to be less of a discussion and more of a three-ring circus.
In the meantime, ABC’s exit has left many wondering whether any network is willing to step up and bring accountability back to the debate stage. But in a world where spectacle trumps substance, that may be a losing battle. For now, it seems that fact-checking, like ABC’s debate hosting career, is becoming a relic of the past.
So buckle up, America. The debates are only going to get wilder from here.
NOTE: This Is SATIRE, It’s Not True.
