Author: Alex Robin

With years of experience in crafting clever and satirical pieces, Alex has made a name for himself as one of the funniest and sharpest writers in the industry. Although his true identity remains a mystery, what is clear is that Alex has a knack for finding the absurdity in everyday situations and turning them into laugh-out-loud funny stories. He has a unique perspective on the world and is always on the lookout for the next big target to skewer with his biting wit. When he's not writing hilarious articles for Esspots.com, Alex enjoys playing practical jokes on his friends and family, watching stand-up comedy, and rooting for his favorite sports teams. He also has a soft spot for animals, particularly his mischievous cat, who often inspires his comedic material.
Satire

Jon Voight Rejects $20 Million NFL Ad Offer with Robert De Niro, Says “Never Work with Woke Creep”

Jon Voight, the acclaimed Academy Award-winning actor, has made headlines with his bold rejection of a lucrative $20 million offer from the NFL. The offer was part of an advertising campaign for the 2025 NFL season, which will kick off in Berlin, Germany. Voight was reportedly approached to join fellow actor Robert De Niro in […]

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Satire

NFL Offers $100 Million to Kid Rock and Jason Aldean for Anthem Performance in Berlin, Says “We’ll Do It Free for America”

The NFL is making headlines with an unprecedented offer to two of country music’s biggest stars, Kid Rock and Jason Aldean. The league has reportedly extended a massive $10 million offer to the two musicians to perform the national anthem at the opening of the 2025 NFL season in Berlin, Germany. The league has also […]

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Satire

MLS Bans Black National Anthem, Upholds ‘One Anthem, One Flag’ Policy

Major League Soccer (MLS) has recently sparked controversy with its decision to ban the Black National Anthem, also known as “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” from being played at its games. The league has announced that it will now adhere to a strict “One Anthem, One Flag” policy, meaning only the traditional “Star-Spangled Banner” will […]

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Satire

Mark Wahlberg Rejects $150M DreamWorks Offer, Says No to ‘Wokeness for Kids’

Mark Wahlberg, the renowned actor known for his roles in films such as *Transformers: Age of Extinction*, *The Fighter*, and *Ted*, recently made headlines with a bold decision that has sparked widespread discussion in Hollywood and beyond. Wahlberg turned down a substantial $150 million offer from DreamWorks Animation, the acclaimed animation studio behind major hits […]

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Satire

Sylvester Stallone Turns Down $200 Million Disney Offer, Declares ‘Wokeness is Not My Style’

Sylvester Stallone, one of Hollywood’s most iconic action stars, made waves recently after turning down a staggering $350 million offer from Disney to star in a major film. Known for his legendary roles in Rocky and Rambo, Stallone explained that, despite the significant financial incentive, he could not reconcile with the direction that the entertainment […]

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Satire

Eras Tour Crew Strikes After Not Receiving $197 Million in Bonuses, Claims Promises by Taylor Swift Were a Publicity Stunt

The Eras Tour, one of Taylor Swift’s most successful concert ventures, has recently faced a major controversy, with members of the crew going on strike. They are accusing the pop icon of failing to deliver on promises of $197 million in bonuses. The crew members claim that the announcement of the bonuses was nothing more […]

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Satire

Jennifer Aniston Loses $200 Million in Endorsements, Says ‘I Can’t Live Here Anymore’

Jennifer Aniston, one of the most recognized faces in Hollywood, is facing a significant professional and personal shift after reportedly losing $200 million in endorsement deals. The actress, known for her iconic role on Friends and her successful career in film and television, has made headlines recently for her emotional statement, “I can’t live here […]

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Satire

Dana White and Hulk Hogan Launch Non-Woke Gym Chain in Red States

Dana White, president of the UFC, and wrestling legend Hulk Hogan have teamed up to create a new fitness venture that is stirring up significant buzz in the world of health and wellness. The duo is set to open a series of gyms in red states, which they are promoting as “non-woke” fitness centers. The […]

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Satire

Report: Joe Rogan’s Podcast Beats Taylor Swift in Spotify Listeners in 2024

In 2024, Joe Rogan’s podcast has surpassed Taylor Swift in Spotify listeners, marking a significant milestone in the world of digital content. The achievement comes as Spotify released its annual Wrapped list, which ranks the most-streamed content across the platform. For the first time, Rogan’s podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience, has eclipsed the streaming numbers […]

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Satire

Alyssa Milano Selling Red State Properties, Moving to Blue State: ‘Not the America I Stand For’

Alyssa Milano, the outspoken actress and activist, has made a bold personal decision that reflects her growing frustration with the political and cultural direction of the United States. After years of public advocacy for progressive causes, Milano has announced that she is selling her properties in red states and relocating to a blue state, citing […]

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