ABC Fires Entire Staff Amid Debate Backlash, “It Was Our Biggest Mistake”
In a corporate purge worthy of a dystopian novel, ABC has decided to fire its entire staff after the network found itself at the center of a post-debate backlash tsunami. From seasoned anchors to cafeteria workers, no one was safe from the network’s hasty response to the uproar that followed its now-infamous Trump vs. Harris […]
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Tim Allen and Roseanne Barr Cancel Their Non-Woke Show With ABC: “They Lost Their Credibility”
In a dramatic twist that has left ABC executives scrambling and conservative audiences nodding in collective agreement, Tim Allen and Roseanne Barr have officially canceled their highly anticipated “non-woke” show with ABC. The reason? According to the duo, ABC’s handling of the recent Trump-Harris debate, and the subsequent backlash, was the final straw in what […]
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ABC Drops Out of the Debate Business After Backlash, Fox to Hold Next Debate: “We Can’t Afford It”
In a plot twist no one saw coming, ABC has officially declared that it’s bowing out of the presidential debate business, citing both financial strain and a backlash of epic proportions. After years of hosting these political slugfests, ABC executives have finally thrown in the towel, reportedly muttering, “We can’t afford it,” as they exited […]
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Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour Struggles with Only 2,000 Ticket Sales After Endorsement Backlash
In a twist that no one saw coming—except perhaps those who closely monitor the Venn diagram of pop culture and politics—Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, once poised to be the concert event of the decade, has reportedly only sold 2,000 tickets after her recent political endorsement. Swifties, known for their unwavering devotion to the pop superstar, […]
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NBC COMCAST Takes ABC Off Air After Historic Debate: “They Owe the American People an Apology”
In an unprecedented and downright bizarre twist in the ongoing media wars, NBC Comcast has taken ABC off the air, declaring that the rival network “owes the American people an apology.” While corporate feuds are nothing new in the media landscape, this latest clash has raised eyebrows for its boldness—and for what seems to be […]
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Elon Musk Pulls His Exclusive Show From ABC, “They’re a Disgrace to the Media Industry”
In a move that shocked no one who has followed his Twitter (or X, as he’s rebranded it) antics, Elon Musk has officially pulled his exclusive show from ABC, citing the network’s handling of the recent debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. Musk, never one to mince words—or characters in his tweets—called ABC “a […]
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Leaked Reports Confirm George Soros Paid $1 Million to Each ABC Moderator
In a revelation that has sent conspiracy theorists into a frenzy of I-told-you-so glee, leaked reports have allegedly confirmed that billionaire philanthropist and right-wing boogeyman George Soros paid $1 million to each ABC debate moderator. Yes, you read that right. According to these new claims, David Muir and Linsey Davis, the two moderators who fact-checked […]
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ABC Loses 5 Major Advertisers After Debate, Costing the Media Company $27 Million: “We Won’t Host Any Debates in the Future”
In a plot twist that could only happen in 2024, ABC has officially lost five major advertisers following the fallout from its controversial handling of the latest presidential debate. The network, known for its polished news broadcasts and long-standing tradition of hosting political events, has now been hit where it hurts most: its wallet. The […]
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Taylor Swift Loses Brand Deals Worth $125 Million After The Big Endorsement
In what can only be described as a seismic shift in the world of pop culture and product placements, Taylor Swift, America’s sweetheart-turned-political commentator, has reportedly lost brand deals worth a staggering $125 million. The reason? Her latest “big endorsement,” which seemed to hit all the wrong notes with some of her biggest sponsors. The […]
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ABC Fires Debate Moderators David Muir and Linsey Davis: “They Are a Disgrace to Their Profession”
In a move that shocked exactly zero people on Twitter but left the world of broadcast journalism reeling, ABC News has reportedly fired debate moderators David Muir and Linsey Davis following their controversial performance during Tuesday night’s presidential debate. The network’s statement, released late Wednesday, didn’t mince words: “David Muir and Linsey Davis are a […]
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