Guy Fieri Kicks Taylor Swift Out of His Restaurant After Harris Endorsement: “Don’t Come Back Here, You Ain’t Anybody’s Role Model”
In what might be the spiciest scandal to ever hit Flavortown, celebrity chef Guy Fieri has officially taken his diners, drive-ins, and dives to new political heights. Known for his signature bleached hair, love of nacho cheese, and all things “dude food,” Fieri shocked fans everywhere when he reportedly kicked pop icon Taylor Swift out […]
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Elon Musk Calls for Boycott of ABC Network: “Let’s Take ‘Em Down!”
In yet another dramatic twist in the ever-spiraling 2024 political saga, tech billionaire and part-time Twitter disruptor Elon Musk has thrown his weight behind a full-fledged boycott of ABC Network following the recent presidential debate. After a polarizing event that left both Donald Trump and Kamala Harris supporters fuming over the moderators’ handling, Musk took […]
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Coca-Cola Ends Long-Term Partnership with Taylor Swift: “We Don’t Support Her Endorsement”
In a move that has shocked fans and fizzled out one of the most iconic partnerships in modern pop culture, Coca-Cola has officially ended its long-standing collaboration with global superstar Taylor Swift. The reason? Swift’s recent political endorsement of Kamala Harris for the 2024 presidential election, a move that Coca-Cola executives say they “just can’t […]
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ABC Stores Across the US Display Signs Declaring No Affiliation With ABC Network After Debate
In the aftermath of the heated 2024 presidential debate, ABC stores across the United States have begun displaying bold signage to make one thing crystal clear: they have absolutely no connection to the television network responsible for airing the contentious event. From “ABC Fine Wine & Spirits” to “ABC Warehouse,” locations are posting disclaimers on […]
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Taylor Swift Cancels Eras Tour Dates After Endorsement Backlash: ‘Only 2,300 Tickets Sold’
In a turn of events that no one—especially Taylor Swift—saw coming, the pop sensation has been forced to cancel several upcoming dates of her highly anticipated Eras tour after a shocking backlash following her public endorsement of Vice President Kamala Harris. The once-sold-out stadiums have quickly turned into ghost towns, with Swift managing to sell […]
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Following Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce Also Endorses Harris: “Taylor Made the Right Choice”
In a move that has left both sports fans and political analysts scratching their heads, NFL star Travis Kelce has followed in the footsteps of his rumored girlfriend Taylor Swift by endorsing Vice President Kamala Harris for the 2024 presidential election. In a surprising public statement, Kelce declared, “Taylor made the right choice, and I […]
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ABC Fires Entire Staff Amid Debate Backlash, “It Was Our Biggest Mistake”
In a corporate purge worthy of a dystopian novel, ABC has decided to fire its entire staff after the network found itself at the center of a post-debate backlash tsunami. From seasoned anchors to cafeteria workers, no one was safe from the network’s hasty response to the uproar that followed its now-infamous Trump vs. Harris […]
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Tim Allen and Roseanne Barr Cancel Their Non-Woke Show With ABC: “They Lost Their Credibility”
In a dramatic twist that has left ABC executives scrambling and conservative audiences nodding in collective agreement, Tim Allen and Roseanne Barr have officially canceled their highly anticipated “non-woke” show with ABC. The reason? According to the duo, ABC’s handling of the recent Trump-Harris debate, and the subsequent backlash, was the final straw in what […]
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ABC Drops Out of the Debate Business After Backlash, Fox to Hold Next Debate: “We Can’t Afford It”
In a plot twist no one saw coming, ABC has officially declared that it’s bowing out of the presidential debate business, citing both financial strain and a backlash of epic proportions. After years of hosting these political slugfests, ABC executives have finally thrown in the towel, reportedly muttering, “We can’t afford it,” as they exited […]
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Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour Struggles with Only 2,000 Ticket Sales After Endorsement Backlash
In a twist that no one saw coming—except perhaps those who closely monitor the Venn diagram of pop culture and politics—Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, once poised to be the concert event of the decade, has reportedly only sold 2,000 tickets after her recent political endorsement. Swifties, known for their unwavering devotion to the pop superstar, […]
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