Elon Musk and Donald Trump Vow To Release Epstein Client List: “One of Them Should Go Down”
In what can only be described as the collaboration no one saw coming, Elon Musk and former President Donald Trump took to the stage together, in front of a roaring crowd, to make an announcement that sent shockwaves across the world: they plan to release the infamous Epstein client list. The billionaire tech mogul and […]
Read More
Gordon Ramsay Kicks Tim Walz Out of Hell’s Kitchen: “Don’t Come Back Here You Woke Creep”
In a move that sent shockwaves through both the culinary world and political spheres, famed chef Gordon Ramsay reportedly threw Minnesota Governor Tim Walz out of his hit show Hell’s Kitchen last night, calling the politician a “woke creep” after a heated exchange over the menu’s “politically incorrect” dishes. The clash occurred during a special […]
Read More
Dennis Quaid Signs $100 Million Deal With Warner Bros. A For Non-Woke Movie After Success of Reagan
After the unprecedented success of his latest film Reagan, which shattered box office records and earned $1 billion in just one week, Dennis Quaid has signed a $100 million deal with Warner Bros to star in an upcoming non-woke movie. This announcement comes as Hollywood witnesses a growing shift in audience preferences, with more moviegoers […]
Read More
PFATS Cancels Scholarships Of 10 Players For Anthem Kneeling, “Kneel For The Flag”
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the sports world, the Professional Football Athletic Trainers Society (PFATS) has announced the cancellation of scholarships for 10 NFL students who were found guilty of the unforgivable sin of kneeling during the national anthem. This bold decision has been met with both cheers and jeers, depending on […]
Read More
Breaking: Dennis Quaid’s New Anti-Woke Movie Reagan Breaks All Records, Earns $1 Billion in One Week
In a stunning triumph that has left Hollywood buzzing, Dennis Quaid’s latest film, Reagan, has shattered box office records, raking in an unprecedented $1 billion within its first week of release. The movie, which offers a fresh take on the life and legacy of Ronald Reagan, has resonated deeply with audiences across the globe, proving […]
Read More
Coach Elway Makes It Clear: “Anthem Kneeling Will Result in a Ban From the Team”
In an era where professional athletes have become as known for their political stances as for their prowess on the field, one legendary coach is taking a hardline approach that’s making waves in the sports world. John Elway, former NFL star and current head coach of the Denver Broncos, has issued a no-nonsense decree: players […]
Read More
Breaking: ABC Removes Whoopi Goldberg And Joy Behar From The View Season 28, “Enough Of Their Toxicity”
In a move that has left daytime television viewers stunned and social media ablaze, ABC has announced that Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar will not be returning for Season 28 of The View. The decision, which was reportedly made after months of internal discussions, was summarized in a terse statement from the network: “We’ve had […]
Read More
Breaking: ESPN Removes Brittney Griner from GOAT List, “She’s Not a Good Person”
In a shocking and somewhat baffling move that has left the sports world buzzing, ESPN has decided to remove Brittney Griner, one of the most dominant figures in women’s basketball, from their prestigious GOAT (Greatest of All Time) list. The reason? According to an anonymous source within the network, Griner was deemed “not a good […]
Read More
Elon Musk: “We Should Get Rid Of All Electronic Voting Machines”
In an unexpected twist that has left both tech enthusiasts and political analysts scratching their heads, Elon Musk, the billionaire entrepreneur known for his innovative ventures and futuristic visions, has made a bold proclamation: it’s time to get rid of all electronic voting machines. Yes, the man who wants to colonize Mars, implant chips in […]
Read More
Breaking: Colin Kaepernick’s Plea to Participate in the Olympics 2024 Rejected Instantly by the Committee, “You’re Too Woke for the Game”
Folks, wake up and smell the coffee. The former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been ditched for getting into the Olympics 2024. But why? Because the Olympics has rejected his application, saying, *You are too woke for the game.” YES!!! You heard it right. Oh, come on! The boy wants to get in… let him […]
Read More