Texas Permanently Bans Pride Flags From Classrooms, “The Only Flag Allowed In Any Classroom Should Be The American Stars And Stripes”
In a move that is sure to ignite debates across the country, the state of Texas has announced a groundbreaking decision: Pride flags are permanently banned from all classrooms, and the only flag allowed will be the revered American Stars and Stripes. The announcement, made during a press conference by Texas Governor Greg Abbott, was […]
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Elon Musk Says: “Pride Flags Should Be Banned from Classrooms, Permanently!”
In a move that sent shockwaves through social media and the education sector alike, Elon Musk has ignited a fresh firestorm of controversy, declaring that Pride flags should be permanently banned from classrooms. In a tweet that rapidly went viral, the SpaceX CEO, Tesla founder, and Twitter’s own self-proclaimed “Chief Twit” wrote, “Pride flags should […]
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Elon Musk and Donald Trump Vow To Release Epstein Client List: “One of Them Should Go Down”
In what can only be described as the collaboration no one saw coming, Elon Musk and former President Donald Trump took to the stage together, in front of a roaring crowd, to make an announcement that sent shockwaves across the world: they plan to release the infamous Epstein client list. The billionaire tech mogul and […]
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Gordon Ramsay Kicks Tim Walz Out of Hell’s Kitchen: “Don’t Come Back Here You Woke Creep”
In a move that sent shockwaves through both the culinary world and political spheres, famed chef Gordon Ramsay reportedly threw Minnesota Governor Tim Walz out of his hit show Hell’s Kitchen last night, calling the politician a “woke creep” after a heated exchange over the menu’s “politically incorrect” dishes. The clash occurred during a special […]
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Dennis Quaid Signs $100 Million Deal With Warner Bros. A For Non-Woke Movie After Success of Reagan
After the unprecedented success of his latest film Reagan, which shattered box office records and earned $1 billion in just one week, Dennis Quaid has signed a $100 million deal with Warner Bros to star in an upcoming non-woke movie. This announcement comes as Hollywood witnesses a growing shift in audience preferences, with more moviegoers […]
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PFATS Cancels Scholarships Of 10 Players For Anthem Kneeling, “Kneel For The Flag”
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the sports world, the Professional Football Athletic Trainers Society (PFATS) has announced the cancellation of scholarships for 10 NFL students who were found guilty of the unforgivable sin of kneeling during the national anthem. This bold decision has been met with both cheers and jeers, depending on […]
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Breaking: Dennis Quaid’s New Anti-Woke Movie Reagan Breaks All Records, Earns $1 Billion in One Week
In a stunning triumph that has left Hollywood buzzing, Dennis Quaid’s latest film, Reagan, has shattered box office records, raking in an unprecedented $1 billion within its first week of release. The movie, which offers a fresh take on the life and legacy of Ronald Reagan, has resonated deeply with audiences across the globe, proving […]
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Coach Elway Makes It Clear: “Anthem Kneeling Will Result in a Ban From the Team”
In an era where professional athletes have become as known for their political stances as for their prowess on the field, one legendary coach is taking a hardline approach that’s making waves in the sports world. John Elway, former NFL star and current head coach of the Denver Broncos, has issued a no-nonsense decree: players […]
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Breaking: ABC Removes Whoopi Goldberg And Joy Behar From The View Season 28, “Enough Of Their Toxicity”
In a move that has left daytime television viewers stunned and social media ablaze, ABC has announced that Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar will not be returning for Season 28 of The View. The decision, which was reportedly made after months of internal discussions, was summarized in a terse statement from the network: “We’ve had […]
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Elon Musk To Fund New Anti-Woke Show Featuring Tucker Carlson: “We Need More Journalists Like Tucker Carlson And Less Like Rachel Maddow!”
In a surprising but somehow inevitable turn of events, tech mogul Elon Musk has announced plans to fund a brand new anti-woke show starring none other than the fiery conservative pundit, Tucker Carlson. The show, tentatively titled Truth Unleashed, promises to be a hard-hitting exposé of everything wrong with “woke culture,” left-wing media, and, of […]
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