‘She’s Perfect’: Bud Light Appoints Whoopi Goldberg as Its New Brand Ambassador to Boost Sales
In the list of headliners we expected for 2023, “Whoopi Goldberg, The New Bud Light Savior” was, frankly, nowhere to be found. Yet, here we are, wide-eyed, beer in hand, watching this sitcom of corporate desperation unfold. Bud Light, having faced more PR disasters than a politician with a malfunctioning microphone, desperately tried to crawl […]
Read More
TRUE: Anheuser-Busch Sues Whoopi Goldberg For $100 Billion
The craft beer industry might pride itself on its hoppy concoctions and artisanal brews, but it seems the traditional giants like Bud Light are brewing something else altogether: high-stakes drama. In an episode worthy of any daytime talk show, Anheuser-Busch has now filed a staggering $100 billion lawsuit against its own brand ambassador, the legendary […]
Read More
TRUE: NFL Unbans Beyoncé After A Public Apology, Says ‘We Respect Our Artists’
In the grand theater of modern pop culture, where every tweet can spark a wildfire of debate, the National Football League (NFL) found itself in an unexpected spotlight. The protagonist of this drama? The global music icon, Beyoncé. The plot? A musical performance that, while showcasing her usual brilliance, didn’t quite harmonize with the NFL’s […]
Read More
TRUE: Beyoncé Apologizes For Singing ‘Alternative National Anthem’, Agrees ‘There’s Only One National Anthem’
In today’s hyper-connected world, where every action is magnified and dissected, Beyoncé’s decision to perform an “Alternative National Anthem” became the epicenter of global discourse. The performance, while musically impeccable, was a departure from the norm, leading to a myriad of reactions. Beyoncé, with her characteristic flair, took to the stage, known for her ability […]
Read More
Breaking: Beyoncé Loses Almost $10 Billion After Singing ‘Alternative National Anthem’ At NFL
Beyoncé, a name synonymous with musical prowess, cultural influence, and business acumen, recently found herself at the center of an astonishing claim: a loss of nearly $10 billion following her performance of “Lift Every Voice and Sing” at an NFL game. The song, deeply rooted in African American history and often referred to as the […]
Read More
TRUE: NFL Issues Lifetime Ban to Beyoncé for Performing ‘Alternative National Anthem’ at NFL
In a decision that has sent shockwaves through the worlds of sports and entertainment, the National Football League (NFL) has announced a lifetime ban on global music icon, Beyoncé. The cause? Her choice to perform an “Alternative National Anthem” at a recent game. This move has ignited a firestorm of debate, prompting discussions on artistic […]
Read More
TRUE: Jason Aldean Wins $100 Billion Lawsuit Against CMT
In a courtroom drama more intense than a heartbreak ballad, country star Jason Aldean emerged victorious in an unprecedented lawsuit against Country Music Television (CMT). The award? A staggering $100 billion, making it the most expensive rendition of “Take this job and shove it” in history. When the news first broke of Aldean’s lawsuit against […]
Read More
TRUE: Bud Light Appoints Colin Kaepernick as New Ambassador to Boost Sales
In a move that has left many beer enthusiasts and social media gurus scratching their heads, Bud Light, still reeling from the Dylan Mulvaney controversy, has announced its latest brand ambassador: none other than the football legend and activist, Colin Kaepernick. Because when you’re trying to recover from one PR hiccup, why not dive headfirst […]
Read More
TRUE: NFL Denies Kaepernick’s Return; Suggests Pursuing Shampoo Endorsements
In a surprise turn of events that’s certain to spark both laughter and heated debates, the NFL has officially declined Colin Kaepernick’s latest attempt to return to professional football. Instead of a spot on the field, they’ve suggested he might be better off endorsing shampoo brands. Yes, you read that correctly—shampoo. Colin Kaepernick, the former […]
Read More
TRUE: Sylvester Stallone Declines Disney’s Half-Billion Dollar ‘Woke’ Film Proposal
In a move that has left Hollywood’s elite gasping for air (and not just from their high-intensity Pilates sessions), Sylvester Stallone, the man who once single-handedly took on the entire Soviet Union in a boxing ring, has turned down a jaw-dropping $500 million movie offer from Disney. His reason? He’s had enough of the “woke […]
Read More