Pabst outshines Budweiser: Bags $124m exclusive beer deal with Kid Rock’s world tour
In a surprising move that has left many in the beer industry scratching their heads, Pabst Brewing Company has reportedly snatched a $124 million deal from Budweiser to become the “exclusive provider” for Kid Rock’s upcoming world tour. According to sources close to the deal, Pabst was able to woo the “American Bad Ass” singer […]
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Just in: Budweiser Loses Top Spot as Best-Selling Beer After 60 Years
In a stunning upset, Budweiser has fallen out as the number-one-selling beer in the United States for the first time in 60 years. The iconic brand, known for its distinctive red and white can, has been knocked off its perch by an upstart craft brewery from Portland, Oregon. The brewery, which goes by the name […]
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Just in: Anheuser Busch Stuck With A Million Unsellable Bud Light “Trans Cans”
Anheuser Busch is in hot water after a recent marketing campaign for their popular beer brand, Bud Light, went terribly wrong. In an attempt to show its support for the LGBTQ+ community, the company released a limited edition line of “Trans Cans” featuring the iconic Bud Light blue and white colors with a rainbow stripe […]
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Roseanne Barr Launches Bud Light-Themed Shooting Range
In a move that is sure to raise eyebrows, former television star Roseanne Barr has announced that she is opening up a new Bud Light-themed shooting range in rural Oklahoma. The range, which will feature targets emblazoned with the iconic Bud Light logo, is being touted by Barr as a way to combine her two […]
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just in: Budweiser Incurs $800 Million Loss in a Single Day
In a shocking development, Budweiser, the beloved beer brand that has been a staple at backyard barbecues and frat parties for generations, has suffered a massive financial setback. According to industry insiders, the company’s latest attempt to “go woke” by featuring transgender activist Dylan Mulvaney in their advertising campaign has backfired spectacularly, causing their stock […]
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Anheuser Busch’s CEO Steps Down Following Record-Low Bud Light Sales
In a shocking turn of events, Anheuser Busch CEO, Michel Doukeris, has announced his resignation amidst a catastrophic decline in Bud Light sales. Sources close to the company say that Doukeris made the decision to step down after realizing that Bud Light sales had hit an all-time low. Apparently, the recent trend towards healthier living […]
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Kid Rock Bans Bud Light on World Tour: Refuses to Let Woke Brands Ruin the Party
In a stunning move, Kid Rock has announced that he will be banning Bud Light from his upcoming world tour. According to the controversial musician, he is taking a stand against “woke brands” and the influence they have on society. “I’m sick and tired of these brands trying to push their political agendas on us,” […]
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Just in: NAACP Cancels Whoopi’s Membership
The NAACP made waves in the entertainment industry this week when it announced that it had canceled Whoopi Goldberg’s membership due to “inappropriate behavior” and “frequent violations of the organization’s values and principles.” According to sources within the NAACP, Goldberg had been a member of the organization for several years, but her behavior had become […]
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Anheuser Busch Cleans House: Entire Marketing Team Terminated Following Major Bud Light Faux Pas
In a stunning turn of events, Anheuser Busch has announced that it has fired its entire marketing department following what it calls the “worst mistake in Bud Light history.” According to sources within the company, the marketing team was responsible for a recent ad campaign that was meant to promote Bud Light’s new “lighter taste.” […]
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Breaking: Kid Rock Signs $20 Million Deal with Miller, Tells Bud Light to “F*** Off”
Kid Rock, the notorious American musician and self-proclaimed “badass”, has just signed a whopping $40 million sponsorship deal with Miller beer. The announcement came as a shock to many in the industry, as Kid Rock has long been associated with Budweiser. But according to sources close to the deal, Kid Rock was lured away by […]
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