Breaking: Colin Kaepernick’s Plea to Participate in the Olympics 2024 Rejected Instantly by the Committee, “You’re Too Woke for the Game”

Paris Olympics Colin Kaepernick

Folks, wake up and smell the coffee. The former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been ditched for getting into the Olympics 2024. But why? Because the Olympics has rejected his application, saying, *You are too woke for the game.” YES!!! You heard it right. Oh, come on! The boy wants to get in… let him participate.

Poor Kaepernick wanted to fire in track and field events, specifically the 400-meter dash. But, Kaepernick, don’t you know you are speaking too much too often? I mean, your social activism, man. Colin, do you know why our Democrats would want to have a person who always indulges with youth and lets them speak about their rights or social injustice? Yeah, you could say we are living in slavery… USOPC? Could you please sideline your political views and focus on his game? Nah, they actually can’t.

I mean, what hypocrisy we are witnessing by the USOPC; they have always supported and valued justice, equality, and freedom, but they have rejected Colin’s plea because he is just too woke and spreads awareness about societal issues in this country. Especially the racism… you know, the African Americans… the black and white, and whatnot. Come on, USOPC, you should at least practice what you preach!

After all, Kaepernick, known for his kneeling protest against racism and social injustice, was excited to switch his football cleats for a pair of track shoes. But folks, the US Olympic Committee considered his level of social consciousness, or you could say “Wokeness” too high for the Olympic Village. Are they kidding us?

Wait a moment, isn’t the Olympics all about unity, global gatherings, and pushing boundaries,? So, why can’t Colin use his platform to raise his voice against systemic racism and police brutality? Is that somehow a bad thing? I don’t get it, ugh!

“We can’t have a person that woke around, distracting the carefully curated apathy of our athletes,” said a Committee spokesperson. I mean, what’s next? Are athletes caring about something beyond their endorsement deals?

Kaepernick’s response? “I’m shocked. I thought the Olympics was about unity, pushing boundaries, and dealing with the current situation. Guess I was wrong – it’s just about pushing boundaries of human athleticism while maintaining a strict neutrality on social issues.”

The committee’s decision has sparked outrage among social justice warriors and fans of irony. “This is a clear case of woke phobia,” said one activist. “We demand an immediate reversal of this decision and a full investigation into the Committee’s obvious bias against people who care about stuff.”

But hold on; we might have a show by the Olympic Committee as a new event, let’s call it “Extreme Apathy.” Athletes will compete to see who can shrug the most convincingly while maintaining a blank expression. It’s going to be a real nail-biter. Woah!

I am leaving you guys with a question: Will Colin stop his social activism for the sake of track field? Will he please to USOPC to get him in? Well, I don’t think so… But you guys are open to sharing your thoughts with me till then, see you all!

Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story, and remember – if you’re too woke, you may just find yourself on the sidelines. Beware, Americans… God bless you all!

Alex Robin

With years of experience in crafting clever and satirical pieces, Alex has made a name for himself as one of the funniest and sharpest writers in the industry. Although his true identity remains a mystery, what is clear is that Alex has a knack for finding the absurdity in everyday situations and turning them into laugh-out-loud funny stories. He has a unique perspective on the world and is always on the lookout for the next big target to skewer with his biting wit. When he's not writing hilarious articles for Esspots.com, Alex enjoys playing practical jokes on his friends and family, watching stand-up comedy, and rooting for his favorite sports teams. He also has a soft spot for animals, particularly his mischievous cat, who often inspires his comedic material.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *