Breaking: Robert De Niro Vows to Leave the US Permanently if the 45th Returns to Office

Robert De Niro Leaves

Robert De Niro, the venerable actor known for his iconic roles in “Taxi Driver” and “Goodfellas,” has announced he will pack up and leave the United States permanently if Donald J. Trump becomes the 45th president of the United States. De Niro, who’s never been shy about sharing his disdain for Trump, seems ready to exit stage left, but what do you think? Is this just another act in endless political theater, or is Bobby really serious this time?

Let’s admit it folks, De Niro’s threat is no more shocking than a typical tweetstorm by Trump. The actor has been critical of the former President vocally and his contemptuousness towards Trump has been like a sledgehammer on your head. However, could this last pledge just be another act in celebrity versus political everlasting drama?

Master of chaos, Donald Trump certainly knows how to bring out either side of people – best or worst. His presidency was an unending soap opera with its twists and turns, scandals as well as enough tears to fill up a Kardashian family reunion. And you know, guys, when it comes to fighting back, De Niro would not hesitate to take shots at him.

Recently, De Niro spoke clearly, “I’m outta here! if that guy gets back in.” He’s not just whistling Dixie – he means it for real. The Raging Bull star has had enough of the drama, the tweets, and the, ahem, “alternative facts”.

And come on, we know what you’re thinking; “Bob, where will you go?” Well, rumor has it that he’s got his sights set on Italy – the land of pasta, pizza, and a certain je ne sais quoi that’s been missing from American politics lately.

The Democrats, who have been as effective as a wet noodle in opposing 45 antics, seem to be stuck in a never-ending cycle of hand-wringing and finger-pointing. Newsflash: That’s not a strategy, folks! It is time for some actual action rather than empty rhetoric and virtue signaling.

Meanwhile, De Niro is done with all the drama…tweets…ahem…”alternative facts.” Many Americans are fed up with the circus our political system has become. But will his leaving be enough to wake up the Democrats? Probably not.

De Niro’s a man of his word. That border will have to bear the brunt of more than just him escaping. We are talking about mass evacuations here! Imagine that why would anyone want to stay for another round of 45’s reality TV show?

Besides, all this is speculation at the moment. Nonetheless, one thing is certain – if 45 makes a comeback, we can expect many Americans going to “That’s Amore” on their way to the airport. And what about Democrats? They won’t know what has hit them.

It’s time for a serious reckoning, America. The Democrats need to get their act together or risk losing even more of their base. De Niro’s departure would be just the tip of the iceberg – a symptom of a larger problem that needs to be addressed.

So, Bob, if you’re reading this – don’t go just yet! We need your voice, your passion, and your willingness to speak truth to power. But if you do decide to leave, we can’t say we blame you. After all, as the great American philosopher Tina Turner once said, “What’s love got to do with it?” In this case, what’s democracy got to do with it?

Stay tuned, folks. It’s gonna be a wild ride!

Alex Robin

With years of experience in crafting clever and satirical pieces, Alex has made a name for himself as one of the funniest and sharpest writers in the industry. Although his true identity remains a mystery, what is clear is that Alex has a knack for finding the absurdity in everyday situations and turning them into laugh-out-loud funny stories. He has a unique perspective on the world and is always on the lookout for the next big target to skewer with his biting wit. When he's not writing hilarious articles for Esspots.com, Alex enjoys playing practical jokes on his friends and family, watching stand-up comedy, and rooting for his favorite sports teams. He also has a soft spot for animals, particularly his mischievous cat, who often inspires his comedic material.

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