Breaking: The Ellen Degeneres Show Becomes the Lowest Rated TV Show in History, “It’s Too Much Woke”
How The Queen of Nice became the lowest-rated TV show in history? Well, folks, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it – Ellen DeGeneres, the beloved queen of daytime talk TV, has become the lowest-rated show in history. What went wrong in her favor? Well, let me tell you, it’s not just a […]
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Breaking: Harrison Butker Selected by the Olympic Committee as Flag Bearer in the Olympics 2024
Hold onto your hats, folks! Harrison Butker, Kansas City Chiefs’ ace kicker, has been handpicked as the flag bearer for the 2024 Olympics. It’s a curious choice, isn’t it? A kicker to represent America. One can only wonder if this is the Democrats’ latest attempt at distracting us from their endless parade of missteps. After […]
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Breaking: Kid Rock and Hulk Hogan Collaborate For A “Freedom Forever Tour”
In a move that’s got everyone from Nashville to Hulkamania running wild, A joint tour has been announced by Kid Rock and Hulk Hogan and it’s called the “Freedom Forever Tour.” Kid Rock and Hulk Hogan have announced a joint tour that’s being billed as the “Freedom Forever Tour.” Because what is more American than […]
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Elon Musk Bans Stephen King Permanently From Platform X After He Trolled the Tech Mogul
Oh boy, folks! If you thought the Twitterverse couldn’t get any wilder, buckle up! Elon Musk, the tech mogul, is a guy who loves a little bit of drama and has permanently banned none other than Stephen King from Platform X (because, you know, that’s a thing now). Why, you ask? Well, it seems the […]
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Breaking: Hulk Hogan Lands a $500 Million Deal With Samsung After RNC Speech
Only in America, could we have such a twist that Hulk Hogan, the legend of wrestling has just signed a $500 million contract with Samsung for his bombastic speech during the RNC. Yes, it’s true, the Hulkster is back and not just to do leg drops but to strike giant business deals. It was really […]
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Breaking: Jim Caviezel Rejects $500 Million Project with George Clooney, “He’s Awful”
In a stunning turn of events, actor Jim Caviezel has turned down a $500 million film project, citing none other than George Clooney as the reason. The blockbuster deal, which promised to be one of the most lucrative in Hollywood history, was abruptly halted when Caviezel expressed his unwillingness to work with Clooney, branding the […]
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Breaking: LeBron James’ Plea to Be Flag Bearer for 2024 Paris Olympics Instantly Rejected, “You Don’t Represent America”
In a turn of events that could only be described as tragicomic, NBA superstar LeBron James’ ambitious plea to carry the American flag at the 2024 Paris Olympics was swiftly, if not brutally, rejected by the U.S. Olympic Committee. This unexpected rebuff left sports fans and commentators alike in a state of bemused shock. LeBron […]
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Breaking: Robert De Niro Vows to Leave the US Permanently if the 45th Returns to Office
Robert De Niro, the venerable actor known for his iconic roles in “Taxi Driver” and “Goodfellas,” has announced he will pack up and leave the United States permanently if Donald J. Trump becomes the 45th president of the United States. De Niro, who’s never been shy about sharing his disdain for Trump, seems ready to […]
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Breaking: Tucker Carlson Accepts Offer To Be the Next Press Secretary for President
Tucker Carlson got the press secretary job while Democrats are still holding their broken dreams in their hands. Who can blame them, really? It’s not like they have ever had to deal with any competent Republican. The razor-sharp wit of Carlson, who is also known for his ability to destroy his opponents easily, would make […]
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Breaking: Jack Black Loses Nearly $15 Million in Concert Tours After He Went Woke
Looks like Jack Black’s mouth got him into hot water – and lost him a pretty penny! The actor’s anti-Trump comments have tanked his concert ticket sales, leaving him $15 million in the red. Who knew being a Trump critic could be so costly? Jack Black, beloved actor and frontman of Tenacious D has taken […]
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