Just in: Griffin, Milano, and Paltrow Join “The View”
In a bold move to keep up with the changing times, the popular daytime talk show “The View” has announced that it will be going online, with a whole new lineup of hosts that includes Kathy Griffin, Alyssa Milano, and Gwyneth Paltrow. The decision to move “The View” to an online format was reportedly made […]
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Just in: Kathy Griffin Arrested for Shoplifting In Beverly Hills
Kathy Griffin, the comedian and actress, was arrested on Wednesday for shoplifting at a high-end boutique in Beverly Hills. According to witnesses, Griffin was caught on camera stuffing several expensive items into her purse before attempting to walk out of the store without paying. Upon being stopped by store security, Griffin reportedly attempted to play […]
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Bud Light Fiasco Leads Anheuser-Busch to Dump Thousands of Unsold Kegs
Anheuser-Busch, the well-known brewery, has had to dump thousands of kegs of unsold Bud Light due to a botched marketing campaign. Their latest promotion, the “Bud Light Fiasco,” was meant to create hype and boost sales, but instead, it led to a significant loss for the company. According to sources within the company, the promotion […]
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Bud Light’s Mistake Nets Kid Rock Over $30 Million in Earnings
In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that Kid Rock has made more than $30 million dollars from Bud Light’s mistake of endorsing Dylan Mulvaney instead of him. Sources close to the situation say that Kid Rock had been quietly seething after Bud Light mistakenly endorsed Dylan Mulvaney, a relatively unknown country […]
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Former Swimmer Riley Gaines Sues Lia Thomas for $2 Million: “She Took Everything From Me”
In a shocking turn of events, former swimmer Riley Gaines has filed a $2 million lawsuit against fellow athlete Lia Thomas, claiming that Thomas “took everything” from her. The lawsuit alleges that Thomas, who is transgender and has been making waves in the swimming world, unfairly dominated the competition and left Gaines in the dust. […]
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Jack Daniels’ ‘Woke’ Statement Costs Company $100 Million in Sales and Counting
In what can only be described as a sobering turn of events, Jack Daniels has announced that it lost a staggering $100 million in one “woke” weekend. The whiskey company’s woes began when it released a statement expressing support for the Black Lives Matter movement and pledging to do more to promote diversity and inclusion. […]
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Spielberg’s ‘Color Purple’ Sequel Drops Whoopi Goldberg
In a move that has left fans reeling, it has been announced that Whoopi Goldberg will not be reprising her role in the upcoming sequel to Steven Spielberg’s ‘The Color Purple.’ Sources close to the production say that Goldberg was let go due to creative differences with the director, though rumors abound that she was […]
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Bud Light’s Fiasco Causes Over $1 Billion in Losses, Leaving Investors Fuming
In a stunning turn of events, the Bud Light Fiasco has reportedly cost the company over $1 billion in losses, leaving investors absolutely furious. The debacle began when Bud Light decided to release a new line of flavored beers, including such questionable flavors as Bacon and Maple Syrup, Spicy Nacho Cheese, and Ranch Dressing. Despite […]
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Kid Rock Ditches Bud Light for Miller in $40 Million Sponsorship Deal: “F*** You, Bud Light!”
In a bold move that is sure to ruffle some feathers in the beer industry, Kid Rock has reportedly signed a $40 million sponsorship deal with Miller, effectively ending his long-standing relationship with rival brand Bud Light. According to sources close to the deal, Kid Rock was drawn to Miller’s “no-nonsense” approach to beer-making, which […]
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Kid Rock Defies Anheuser Busch’s Lawsuit Threats With “Bring It On” Attitude
In a move that surprised no one, Kid Rock has responded to Anheuser Busch’s threat of a lawsuit with a defiant “Bring it on.” The feud between the beer giant and the washed-up rocker began when Anheuser Busch pulled their sponsorship from Kid Rock’s upcoming tour, citing his recent controversial comments and behavior. Kid Rock, […]
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