Just in: ABC Says It Cut Joy and Whoopi’s Pay in Half to Keep The View Afloat
New York City – In a shocking announcement yesterday, ABC revealed that it had cut the pay of Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg in half in order to keep their daytime talk show, The View, afloat. According to sources close to the network, the decision was made after executives realized that the show was hemorrhaging […]
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Whoopi Goldberg Goes Nuclear: Fires Back After Unexpected Termination from ‘The View
In a shocking turn of events, longtime co-host of “The View,” Whoopi Goldberg, reportedly exploded in a fiery rage after being fired from the show. According to sources close to the situation, Goldberg was “absolutely livid” when she received the news, which was delivered to her via a curt phone call from the show’s producers. […]
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Just in: Biden Calls America The Worst Country on Earth
Washington D.C. – President Joe Biden shocked the nation today with a startling admission during a press conference at the White House. Biden called America the worst country on Earth, saying, “There’s no denying that we’re the worst of the worst.” The statement sent shockwaves through the political establishment, with many lawmakers calling for Biden […]
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Just in: Appeals Court Upholds Rittenhouse’s $22 Million Win Against The View
In a shocking ruling, the appeals court has upheld Kyle Rittenhouse’s $22 million win against the popular daytime talk show “The View,” leaving many viewers and legal experts scratching their heads. Rittenhouse, who was acquitted of all charges in the shooting deaths of two people during protests in Kenosha, Wisconsin, in 2020, filed a defamation […]
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ABC Forces Whoopi to Choose Between Co-Hosts: Fire Sunny or Joy
In a shocking development, ABC has reportedly given Whoopi Goldberg an ultimatum: “Fire Sunny or Joy – the choice is yours.” Apparently, executives at the network have grown tired of the constant bickering and on-air arguments between co-hosts Sunny Hostin and Joy Behar, and they’ve decided that one of them has to go. According to […]
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Just in: Kid Rock’s “No Snowflakes” Tour Sells Out All 30 Shows in Under an Hour
In what can only be described as a shocking turn of events, Kid Rock’s “No Snowflakes” tour has sold out all 30 of its shows in under an hour. Apparently, there are more people out there who are offended by snowflakes than we ever could have imagined. For those who are unfamiliar with Kid Rock’s […]
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Shocking Verdict: QAnon Shaman to Walk Free as Judge Grants New Trial
In a shocking turn of events, Judge Judy, known for her no-nonsense approach to justice, has declared that Jacob Chansley, the infamous “QAnon Shaman,” will be released and given a new trial. This decision has sparked outrage among many Americans who believe that Chansley should be locked up and the key thrown away. But according […]
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Just in: ABC Exec Says Whoopi Goldberg Has To Go or The View Gets Canceled
In a stunning announcement, an ABC executive has declared that the popular talk show, The View, will be canceled unless Whoopi Goldberg is removed from the show. According to sources close to the executive, Whoopi’s recent comments on the show have been deemed too controversial and divisive for the network’s taste. “Whoopi has just gone […]
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Just in: Volkswagon Abandons Alyssa Milano, “She Doesn’t Represent Us”
In a shocking move, Volkswagen has announced that they are abandoning Alyssa Milano as their spokesperson. The car manufacturer claims that Milano “doesn’t represent us” and that they are looking for someone more in line with their values. “We appreciate everything Alyssa has done for us over the years, but we have come to the […]
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Just in: ‘Star Trek’ Refuses to Hire Whoopi Goldberg
In a stunning display of short-sightedness, the producers of the upcoming Star Trek reboot have announced that they will not be hiring legendary actress Whoopi Goldberg to reprise her iconic role as Guinan. According to sources close to the production, the decision was made after Goldberg publicly criticized the lack of diversity in the film […]
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