Sylvester Stallone Pride
Satire

Sylvester Stallone Draws the Line: “No Pride Crap on My Movie Set”

In an era when Hollywood sets are festooned with slogans, hashtags, and rainbow-colored merch tables, Sylvester Stallone has decided his latest film will feature exactly none of that. The 79-year-old action icon, currently filming Freedom’s Last Stand in Texas, reportedly stunned cast and crew during their first production meeting when he stood up, tapped the […]

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TPUSA Kid Rock and Bad Bunny
Satire

Turning Point USA’s All-American Halftime Show Featuring Kid Rock Is Now Sold Out, “Nobody Wants Badbunny”

Tickets for the Turning Point USA All-American Halftime Show were snapped up in record time this week, disappearing faster than a Bud Light from a frat fridge. Within 45 minutes of going on sale, not a single seat remained. Meanwhile, across town, the NFL’s official halftime headliner — Bad Bunny — was reportedly struggling to […]

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No kings Rally
Satire

JUST IN: Official Count Reveals ‘No Kings Rally’ Drew Just 250,000

The final numbers are in, and it turns out the “No Kings Rally” in Boston wasn’t exactly the people’s uprising its organizers had promised. According to city officials, the total headcount clocked in at a respectable but hardly revolutionary 250,000 people — roughly the population of Des Moines, Iowa, or one and a half Taylor […]

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Erika Kirk Woke Deal
Satire

Turning Point USA’s Erika Kirk Turns Down $40 Million ‘Woke’ Sponsorship Deal, “I’m Never Promoting LGBTQ Wokeness”

Erika Kirk has once again proven that she’s not afraid to go against the grain—or in this case, against forty million dollars. The Turning Point USA leader, who took over after the death of her husband Charlie Kirk, has reportedly rejected a $40 million offer from corporate sponsors who wanted her to feature LGBTQ-themed messaging […]

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ElonWhoopi Musk
Satire

Whoopi Goldberg Leaves The View in Tears After Elon Musk Shuts It Down, “I Never Thought It Would End Like This”

It was a surreal morning on the ABC studio lot in New York — one that began like any other, with coffee, cameras, and half-shouted political opinions — and ended with Whoopi Goldberg quietly walking off stage as Elon Musk officially pulled the plug on The View. The news hit just after 10 a.m., while […]

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Superbowl LX Bad Bunny
Satire

Samsung Pulls Out of Super Bowl LX After Bad Bunny Announced as Halftime Performer, “American Game, American Singer”

In a move that blindsided both sports fans and marketing executives, Samsung has officially withdrawn its multimillion-dollar sponsorship from Super Bowl LX, citing “irreconcilable creative differences” with the halftime performer, Bad Bunny. The decision, which arrived just 24 hours after the NFL confirmed the Latin superstar’s headline act, was accompanied by a curt public statement […]

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Bad Bunny No Kings Rally
Satire

Just in: Bad Bunny to Hold Concert at “No Kings” Protest in Boston, “Only 1,500 Signed Up”

BOSTON — In what was expected to be a major fusion of activism and pop culture, global superstar Bad Bunny announced a special performance at the “No Kings” protest rally in Boston — only for the event to fall flatter than a deflated crown. Despite weeks of online promotion, celebrity hashtags, and moody black-and-white posters […]

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Elon Whoopi Money
Satire

Elon Musk Shuts Down The View Moments After Buying ABC For $10 Billion, “Those Toxic Hens Had to Go”

In what media insiders are calling “the boldest hostile act of kindness in television history,” Elon Musk has reportedly purchased ABC for a cool $10 billion, then promptly canceled The View before the ink on the contract was even dry. According to witnesses inside ABC’s headquarters, the deal was signed at 9:02 a.m. Tuesday. By […]

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Bad bunny Kid Rock George Strait
Satire

George Strait Saddles Up With Kid Rock for the All-American Super Bowl Halftime Show

In a stunning, star-spangled twist that no one saw coming (except maybe everyone wearing a cowboy hat), the NFL announced that George Strait, the King of Country himself, will join Kid Rock for the All-American Halftime Show at Super Bowl LX. The news comes just weeks after the league quietly parted ways with Bad Bunny, […]

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George Soros Erika Kirk Charlie
Satire

Erika Kirk Sues George Soros for $100 Million For Defaming Late Husband Charlie Kirk

In a move that has rocked both the political and media worlds, Erika Kirk, widow of conservative commentator Charlie Kirk, has filed a $100 million lawsuit against billionaire financier George Soros, alleging that Soros and several affiliated organizations orchestrated a coordinated online disinformation campaign targeting her late husband in the months leading up to his […]

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