Hulk Hogan Pulls His Non-Woke “Real American Beer” from Target Shelves: “Don’t Want Any Wokeness in My Lager, Brother!”
In what might be the most earth-shattering news since Hulk Hogan bodyslammed Andre the Giant in front of 93,000 fans, the wrestling icon turned brewmaster has officially pulled his “Real American Beer” from Target shelves. His reasoning? The Hulkster himself has declared that his beer will not coexist with “woke” corporate agendas, and brother, he’s […]
Read More
Jason Aldean to Host Concert at Tropicana Field to Raise $1 Billion for Hurricane Milton Victims
Country star Jason Aldean, the man behind the controversial hit “Try That in a Small Town,” is making headlines once again—but this time, for a seemingly more altruistic cause. Following the devastating destruction caused by Hurricane Milton, including ripping apart the roof of Tropicana Field, Aldean has announced a mega-concert to raise a whopping $1 […]
Read More
College Roommate Admits Tim Walz “Cheats At Monopoly And Scrabble”
It seems that Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has been harboring a dark secret—a secret so scandalous that it transcends the political realm and cuts to the very core of his moral fiber. We’re not talking about policies or governance. No, this one’s more personal, more insidious. Tim Walz, ladies and gentlemen, cheats at Monopoly. Oh, […]
Read More
Taylor Swift Refuses To Participate In $2 Billion Helene Charity Event By Elon, “They Don’t Buy Concert Tickets”
In what is sure to go down as one of the most unexpected celebrity snubs in the history of charity events, pop icon Taylor Swift has reportedly turned down a high-profile invitation from billionaire Elon Musk to participate in a $2 billion charity concert aimed at raising funds for victims of Hurricane Helene. And her […]
Read More
Vanilla and Kid’s ‘Woke is Whack’ Tour Crushes Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour Ticket Sales
In what is being hailed as the most unexpected twist in the entertainment world since Milli Vanilli tried to sing live, Vanilla Ice and Kid Rock have done the unthinkable. The duo’s newly launched “Woke is Whack” tour has not only taken the nation by storm, but it’s also crushing ticket sales for none other […]
Read More
Elon Musk Announces $5 Billion Endorsement Donation At Pennysylvania Rally, “This Feels Right”
In what can only be described as the most extravagant expression of political loyalty since the dawn of democracy, billionaire tech mogul Elon Musk has officially put his money where his Dark MAGA cap is. Standing shoulder to shoulder with former President Donald Trump at a Pennsylvania rally, Musk unveiled a jaw-dropping $5 billion endorsement […]
Read More
Vanilla Ice and Kid Rock Join Forces for ‘Woke is Whack’ Fall US Tour
In a twist that no one saw coming but everyone is talking about, two of America’s most unexpected cultural icons, Vanilla Ice and Kid Rock, are joining forces for a tour that promises to be as controversial as it is nostalgic. Dubbed the “Woke is Whack” Fall US Tour, this dynamic duo is hitting the […]
Read More
Report: Tim Walz May Have A “Financial Interest” In Primanti Bros
In the latest twist of political intrigue, whispers are circulating that Minnesota Governor and Democratic vice-presidential nominee Tim Walz may have more than just a casual interest in Pittsburgh’s most iconic sandwich chain, Primanti Bros. According to an anonymous source with a flair for conspiracy, Walz may have a “financial interest” in the restaurant chain, […]
Read More
Jon Voight Turns Down $100 Million Sponsorship Deal from Primanti Bros: “They Went Woke”
In a truly bizarre twist of sandwich-related drama, Academy Award-winning actor Jon Voight has made headlines for turning down an eye-popping $100 million sponsorship deal from Primanti Bros., the beloved Pittsburgh institution known for its iconic sandwiches piled high with French fries. But it wasn’t the carbs or the calories that made Voight walk away—it […]
Read More
Kyle Rittenhouse Cancels Metal Fest Appearance Over Wokeness Concerns: “It’s Sad That Metal Went Woke Just Like That”
In a twist no one could have predicted, Kyle Rittenhouse, the controversial figure at the center of the 2020 Kenosha protests, has canceled his much-anticipated appearance at Orlando’s Shell Shock II Metal Fest. The reason? The metal world has apparently succumbed to what Rittenhouse calls “wokeness,” leading him to pull out of the event and […]
Read More