Primanti Bros. Loses $50 Million and 10 Major Sponsors Amid Boycott: “They’re Toast”
In what can only be described as the ultimate sandwich scandal of the century, Primanti Bros., the beloved Pittsburgh-based eatery known for its famous fries-on-everything sandwiches, has found itself facing an unprecedented boycott that has resulted in a staggering $50 million in losses. To make matters worse, 10 of its major sponsors have pulled out, […]
Read More
NBC COMCAST Takes CBS Off Air, “They Should Apologize To The American People”
In an unprecedented move that has sent shockwaves through the media landscape, NBC Comcast has reportedly taken CBS off the air, citing the network’s “egregious failure” to live up to its journalistic responsibilities during the recent vice-presidential debate. The decision, which has left viewers scrambling to find their favorite CBS shows, comes amid growing accusations […]
Read More
CBS Has Reportedly Fired Debate Moderators Norah O’Donnell And Margaret Brennan, “A Disgrace To Their Profession”
In a shocking turn of events, CBS has reportedly fired two of its most prominent news anchors, Norah O’Donnell and Margaret Brennan, following the recent vice-presidential debate debacle. The move has sent shockwaves through the media world, raising eyebrows, clutching pearls, and making everyone wonder if the network has finally hit the “self-destruct” button. The […]
Read More
Elon Musk Pulls $1 Billion Show From CBS After Alleged Bias in Debate: “CBS Is Toast”
In a shocking move that has rattled the media world, tech mogul and Twitter extraordinaire Elon Musk has officially pulled his $1 billion show from CBS. Following what Musk called an “extremely biased” vice-presidential debate hosted by the network, the billionaire decided it was time to cut ties, calling CBS “the most unwatchable, agenda-driven network […]
Read More
J.D. Vance’s Boycott Call Costs CBS 6 Major Advertisers: “They’re Going Down”
In an unprecedented turn of events, Ohio Senator and Republican vice-presidential nominee J.D. Vance has successfully launched a boycott campaign that has cost CBS six major advertisers. Following what he described as “obvious bias” during the recent vice-presidential debate, Vance called for an all-out boycott of the network, rallying his supporters to hit CBS where […]
Read More
J.D. Vance To Sue CBS For $1 Billion After Obvious Bias in the VP Debate
In what can only be described as the most predictable lawsuit of the election season, Republican vice-presidential candidate J.D. Vance has announced plans to sue CBS for a whopping $1 billion, claiming the network’s moderators displayed blatant bias against him during the vice-presidential debate. The Ohio senator, who faced off against Democratic nominee Tim Walz […]
Read More
Taylor Swift Gets Loudly Booed Off at The Ellen DeGeneres Show After Endorsement Backlash: “Get Outta Here!”
In an unexpected twist that shook the entertainment world, pop icon Taylor Swift was reportedly booed off the set of The Ellen DeGeneres Show following her controversial endorsement of Kamala Harris. What was supposed to be a lighthearted interview between the “Shake It Off” singer and the famously quirky talk show host turned into a […]
Read More
Primanti Bros. Sues Manager Who Refused to Serve J.D. Vance for $10 Million
In a bizarre twist that no one saw coming—except, perhaps, those who have watched politics blend with fast food—Primanti Bros. has filed a $10 million lawsuit against the manager who refused to serve Republican vice-presidential nominee J.D. Vance at their North Versailles location. What started as a simple “no entry” has now snowballed into a […]
Read More
Primanti Bros. Loses Almost $20 Million Overnight Due to Boycott
In what can only be described as the most disastrous culinary collapse since the Great Bacon Shortage of 2019, Pittsburgh’s iconic sandwich chain, Primanti Bros., has reportedly lost nearly $20 million overnight. The shocking financial hit comes as a result of a rapidly spreading boycott ignited by the controversial barring of Republican vice-presidential nominee J.D. […]
Read More
Tim Walz Permanently Banned from College Games After Facing Loud Boos: “Get Outta Here!”
In what can only be described as the ultimate red card of public humiliation, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has reportedly been permanently banned from attending college football games after facing a thunderous wave of boos at the Michigan-Minnesota matchup on Saturday. The governor, who had hoped to enjoy a leisurely afternoon at “The Big House” […]
Read More