ABC Loses Almost 1 Million Subscribers Overnight After Elon Musk’s Boycott Call
- Alex Robin
- September 16, 2024
In what may go down as one of the most dramatic media shake-ups of the year, ABC has reportedly lost almost 1 million subscribers overnight. The reason? One tweet from tech mogul Elon Musk, who, after witnessing what he described as “blatant bias” during ABC’s recent presidential debate coverage, called for a full-blown boycott of […]
Read MoreTim Allen’s Non-Woke Actor Alliance Announces Boycott of ABC: “They’ve Lost It”
- Alex Robin
- September 16, 2024
In the latest skirmish in the culture wars, Tim Allen’s Non-Woke Actor Alliance (NWAA) has announced an official boycott of ABC, declaring that the network has “completely lost it” after its handling of the recent presidential debate. The NWAA, a group of Hollywood actors who believe the entertainment industry has been overtaken by “wokeness,” has […]
Read MoreDavid Muir Is Now Jobless After Being Fired by ABC, “Fact Checking Was My Biggest Mistake”
- Alex Robin
- September 16, 2024
In a shocking turn of events that has left the media world reeling, David Muir, the anchor of ABC’s flagship news program World News Tonight, has reportedly been fired by ABC. Once a golden boy of the network, Muir has now found himself out of a job and, as some insiders suggest, struggling to figure […]
Read MoreElon Musk Calls for Boycott of ABC Network: “Let’s Take ‘Em Down!”
- Alex Robin
- September 15, 2024
In yet another dramatic twist in the ever-spiraling 2024 political saga, tech billionaire and part-time Twitter disruptor Elon Musk has thrown his weight behind a full-fledged boycott of ABC Network following the recent presidential debate. After a polarizing event that left both Donald Trump and Kamala Harris supporters fuming over the moderators’ handling, Musk took […]
Read MoreABC Stores Across the US Display Signs Declaring No Affiliation With ABC Network After Debate
- Alex Robin
- September 14, 2024
In the aftermath of the heated 2024 presidential debate, ABC stores across the United States have begun displaying bold signage to make one thing crystal clear: they have absolutely no connection to the television network responsible for airing the contentious event. From “ABC Fine Wine & Spirits” to “ABC Warehouse,” locations are posting disclaimers on […]
Read MoreABC Fires Entire Staff Amid Debate Backlash, “It Was Our Biggest Mistake”
- Alex Robin
- September 14, 2024
In a corporate purge worthy of a dystopian novel, ABC has decided to fire its entire staff after the network found itself at the center of a post-debate backlash tsunami. From seasoned anchors to cafeteria workers, no one was safe from the network’s hasty response to the uproar that followed its now-infamous Trump vs. Harris […]
Read MoreABC Drops Out of the Debate Business After Backlash, Fox to Hold Next Debate: “We Can’t Afford It”
- Alex Robin
- September 13, 2024
In a plot twist no one saw coming, ABC has officially declared that it’s bowing out of the presidential debate business, citing both financial strain and a backlash of epic proportions. After years of hosting these political slugfests, ABC executives have finally thrown in the towel, reportedly muttering, “We can’t afford it,” as they exited […]
Read MoreNBC COMCAST Takes ABC Off Air After Historic Debate: “They Owe the American People an Apology”
- Alex Robin
- September 13, 2024
In an unprecedented and downright bizarre twist in the ongoing media wars, NBC Comcast has taken ABC off the air, declaring that the rival network “owes the American people an apology.” While corporate feuds are nothing new in the media landscape, this latest clash has raised eyebrows for its boldness—and for what seems to be […]
Read MoreElon Musk Pulls His Exclusive Show From ABC, “They’re a Disgrace to the Media Industry”
- Alex Robin
- September 12, 2024
In a move that shocked no one who has followed his Twitter (or X, as he’s rebranded it) antics, Elon Musk has officially pulled his exclusive show from ABC, citing the network’s handling of the recent debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. Musk, never one to mince words—or characters in his tweets—called ABC “a […]
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