Elon Musk Calls for Boycott of ABC Network: “Let’s Take ‘Em Down!”
In yet another dramatic twist in the ever-spiraling 2024 political saga, tech billionaire and part-time Twitter disruptor Elon Musk has thrown his weight behind a full-fledged boycott of ABC Network following the recent presidential debate. After a polarizing event that left both Donald Trump and Kamala Harris supporters fuming over the moderators’ handling, Musk took […]
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ABC Stores Across the US Display Signs Declaring No Affiliation With ABC Network After Debate
In the aftermath of the heated 2024 presidential debate, ABC stores across the United States have begun displaying bold signage to make one thing crystal clear: they have absolutely no connection to the television network responsible for airing the contentious event. From “ABC Fine Wine & Spirits” to “ABC Warehouse,” locations are posting disclaimers on […]
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ABC Fires Entire Staff Amid Debate Backlash, “It Was Our Biggest Mistake”
In a corporate purge worthy of a dystopian novel, ABC has decided to fire its entire staff after the network found itself at the center of a post-debate backlash tsunami. From seasoned anchors to cafeteria workers, no one was safe from the network’s hasty response to the uproar that followed its now-infamous Trump vs. Harris […]
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Tim Allen and Roseanne Barr Cancel Their Non-Woke Show With ABC: “They Lost Their Credibility”
In a dramatic twist that has left ABC executives scrambling and conservative audiences nodding in collective agreement, Tim Allen and Roseanne Barr have officially canceled their highly anticipated “non-woke” show with ABC. The reason? According to the duo, ABC’s handling of the recent Trump-Harris debate, and the subsequent backlash, was the final straw in what […]
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ABC Drops Out of the Debate Business After Backlash, Fox to Hold Next Debate: “We Can’t Afford It”
In a plot twist no one saw coming, ABC has officially declared that it’s bowing out of the presidential debate business, citing both financial strain and a backlash of epic proportions. After years of hosting these political slugfests, ABC executives have finally thrown in the towel, reportedly muttering, “We can’t afford it,” as they exited […]
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NBC COMCAST Takes ABC Off Air After Historic Debate: “They Owe the American People an Apology”
In an unprecedented and downright bizarre twist in the ongoing media wars, NBC Comcast has taken ABC off the air, declaring that the rival network “owes the American people an apology.” While corporate feuds are nothing new in the media landscape, this latest clash has raised eyebrows for its boldness—and for what seems to be […]
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Elon Musk Pulls His Exclusive Show From ABC, “They’re a Disgrace to the Media Industry”
In a move that shocked no one who has followed his Twitter (or X, as he’s rebranded it) antics, Elon Musk has officially pulled his exclusive show from ABC, citing the network’s handling of the recent debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. Musk, never one to mince words—or characters in his tweets—called ABC “a […]
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ABC Loses 5 Major Advertisers After Debate, Costing the Media Company $27 Million: “We Won’t Host Any Debates in the Future”
In a plot twist that could only happen in 2024, ABC has officially lost five major advertisers following the fallout from its controversial handling of the latest presidential debate. The network, known for its polished news broadcasts and long-standing tradition of hosting political events, has now been hit where it hurts most: its wallet. The […]
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Breaking: ABC Removes Whoopi Goldberg And Joy Behar From The View Season 28, “Enough Of Their Toxicity”
In a move that has left daytime television viewers stunned and social media ablaze, ABC has announced that Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar will not be returning for Season 28 of The View. The decision, which was reportedly made after months of internal discussions, was summarized in a terse statement from the network: “We’ve had […]
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Breaking: Harrison Butker Signs $10 Million Deal with ABC for a New Show, “It’s Going to Replace The View”
A famous football kicker got everyone scratching their heads. Well, yes, the ABC Network has given Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker a huge $10 million deal to host a new talk show. We may be missing a TV host who is an expert in kicking footballs but not brains. No wonder if the American […]
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