Primanti Bros. CEO Sends Sincere Apology to J.D. Vance: ‘Sorry for Banning Your Campaign, Enjoy a Free Sandwich on Us!’
In a strange twist of fate, J.D. Vance, the U.S. senator from Ohio, has just been sworn in as the Vice President of the United States following a historic election victory. His ascent to the second-highest office in the country marks a significant milestone in his political career, but it has also brought a peculiar […]
Read More
Primanti Bros. Loses $50 Million and 10 Major Sponsors Amid Boycott: “They’re Toast”
In what can only be described as the ultimate sandwich scandal of the century, Primanti Bros., the beloved Pittsburgh-based eatery known for its famous fries-on-everything sandwiches, has found itself facing an unprecedented boycott that has resulted in a staggering $50 million in losses. To make matters worse, 10 of its major sponsors have pulled out, […]
Read More
J.D. Vance To Sue CBS For $1 Billion After Obvious Bias in the VP Debate
In what can only be described as the most predictable lawsuit of the election season, Republican vice-presidential candidate J.D. Vance has announced plans to sue CBS for a whopping $1 billion, claiming the network’s moderators displayed blatant bias against him during the vice-presidential debate. The Ohio senator, who faced off against Democratic nominee Tim Walz […]
Read More