Elon Musk Pulls $1 Billion Show From CBS After Alleged Bias in Debate: “CBS Is Toast”
In a shocking move that has rattled the media world, tech mogul and Twitter extraordinaire Elon Musk has officially pulled his $1 billion show from CBS. Following what Musk called an “extremely biased” vice-presidential debate hosted by the network, the billionaire decided it was time to cut ties, calling CBS “the most unwatchable, agenda-driven network […]
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J.D. Vance’s Boycott Call Costs CBS 6 Major Advertisers: “They’re Going Down”
In an unprecedented turn of events, Ohio Senator and Republican vice-presidential nominee J.D. Vance has successfully launched a boycott campaign that has cost CBS six major advertisers. Following what he described as “obvious bias” during the recent vice-presidential debate, Vance called for an all-out boycott of the network, rallying his supporters to hit CBS where […]
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Primanti Bros. Sues Manager Who Refused to Serve J.D. Vance for $10 Million
In a bizarre twist that no one saw coming—except, perhaps, those who have watched politics blend with fast food—Primanti Bros. has filed a $10 million lawsuit against the manager who refused to serve Republican vice-presidential nominee J.D. Vance at their North Versailles location. What started as a simple “no entry” has now snowballed into a […]
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Primanti Bros. Loses Almost $20 Million Overnight Due to Boycott
In what can only be described as the most disastrous culinary collapse since the Great Bacon Shortage of 2019, Pittsburgh’s iconic sandwich chain, Primanti Bros., has reportedly lost nearly $20 million overnight. The shocking financial hit comes as a result of a rapidly spreading boycott ignited by the controversial barring of Republican vice-presidential nominee J.D. […]
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Primanti Bros. Loses 3 Major Sponsors After J.D. Vance Fallout: “No Sandwiches, No Sponsors”
In the latest twist of the Primanti Bros. saga, the beloved Pittsburgh sandwich chain has lost not just customers, but three major sponsors after its highly publicized refusal to let Republican vice-presidential nominee J.D. Vance enter one of their restaurants. What began as an incident involving a politician and a famous sandwich has spiraled into […]
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Primanti Bros. Shuts Down 10 Prime Locations Amid Boycott Backlash Following J.D. Vance Fallout
In what can only be described as a sandwich-sized disaster, Pittsburgh’s beloved Primanti Brothers has closed the doors on 10 of its prime locations, succumbing to the mounting pressure from a rapidly growing boycott. What started as a small spat over a campaign stop involving Republican vice presidential nominee J.D. Vance has snowballed into a […]
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