losses

Dunkin Donuts CEO Loss
Satire

Dunkin’ Donuts CEO Reveals A Loss of $1 Billion Since Going Woke: “We’re Sorry, Won’t Try That Again”

In a shocking revelation that has sent tremors through the fast-food industry, Dunkin’ Donuts CEO Dave Hoffmann has admitted that the company has suffered a staggering $1 billion loss after what he described as their ill-fated foray into “woke” politics. The confession, made during a hastily organized press conference outside the company’s Canton, Massachusetts headquarters, […]

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Elon Musk Bud Light
Satire

Elon Musk Causes Budweiser to Suffer an $800 Million Loss

In a stunning turn of events, beer giant Budweiser has announced an $800 million loss after the recent Bud Light fiasco, which involved the shipment of several cases of beer to Dylan Mulvaney. The debacle was apparently sparked by a tweet from none other than Elon Musk, the eccentric billionaire and CEO of Tesla and […]

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Bud Light Fiasco Kid Rock
Satire

Bud Light’s Fiasco Causes Over $1 Billion in Losses, Leaving Investors Fuming

In a stunning turn of events, the Bud Light Fiasco has reportedly cost the company over $1 billion in losses, leaving investors absolutely furious. The debacle began when Bud Light decided to release a new line of flavored beers, including such questionable flavors as Bacon and Maple Syrup, Spicy Nacho Cheese, and Ranch Dressing. Despite […]

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