Jack Daniels’ ‘Woke’ Statement Costs Company $100 Million in Sales and Counting
In what can only be described as a sobering turn of events, Jack Daniels has announced that it lost a staggering $100 million in one “woke” weekend. The whiskey company’s woes began when it released a statement expressing support for the Black Lives Matter movement and pledging to do more to promote diversity and inclusion. […]
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Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar Let Go from The View in Bid to Save Show from Cancellation
In a stunning move, ABC’s daytime talk show “The View” has fired long-time hosts Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar in an effort to avoid being canceled. The decision came after a recent episode of the show sparked outrage on social media, with viewers calling for the show to be taken off the air. The offending […]
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Michael Jordan Cuts Ties with Nike Over “Woke” Agenda, Takes Air Jordans With Him
Beaverton, Oregon – In a stunning move that has rocked the sports and fashion world, basketball legend Michael Jordan has announced his resignation from the board of directors at Nike, citing the company’s recent embrace of “woke” culture as his reason for stepping down. According to sources close to Jordan, the six-time NBA champion was […]
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Just in: Kid Rock’s “No Snowflakes” Tour Sells Out All 30 Shows in Under an Hour
In what can only be described as a shocking turn of events, Kid Rock’s “No Snowflakes” tour has sold out all 30 of its shows in under an hour. Apparently, there are more people out there who are offended by snowflakes than we ever could have imagined. For those who are unfamiliar with Kid Rock’s […]
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