Alyssa Milano Says ‘Elon Musk Ruined My Life And Career’
In a twist that no one saw coming, not even the most avid tabloid readers or the most relentless Twitter stalkers, actress and activist Alyssa Milano recently announced in a tearful Instagram Live session that none other than Elon Musk is to blame for, well, everything that’s ever gone wrong in her life. Yes, you […]
Read More
TRUE: Megan Rapinoe To Leave America Soon
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s official: America has entered its most tumultuous period since the debate on pineapple as a pizza topping. Megan Rapinoe, the pink-haired soccer prodigy and America’s sweetheart (or nemesis, depending on who you ask), has declared her intention to depart the Land of the Free. Why, you might ask? The answer, echoing […]
Read More
TRUE: Jason Aldean and Oliver Anthony Named Country Music’s Newest Nobel Laureates
In an unprecedented twist that has left many scratching their heads, the Nobel Committee has announced its latest recipients for the Nobel Prize in… wait for it… Country Music? Yes, that’s right, folks. The illustrious award, which is typically reserved for contributions in fields like Physics, Chemistry, and Peace, has taken a detour down a […]
Read More
‘They’re Too Woke’: Denzel Washington Refuses To Work With Disney
In a world where celebrities often tread lightly around controversial topics, Denzel Washington’s recent decision to distance himself from Disney has sent shockwaves throughout the entertainment industry. The two-time Academy Award-winning actor, known for his roles in films like “Training Day” and “Malcolm X”, has publicly stated that he will not be working with the […]
Read More
Breaking: CNN’s Don Lemon Gets a ‘Punch’ from Elon Musk
In a world where billionaire entrepreneurs launch themselves into space and electric cars wink at other road users, it’s no surprise that Elon Musk has once again made headlines. This time, however, it’s not for his latest innovation or Twitter proclamation, but for a wild event during a CNN interview with Don Lemon. It all […]
Read More
TRUE: Kid Rock and Jason Aldean Unite for the ‘You Can’t Cancel America’ Tour
In a move that has left fans speechless and critics fumbling for adjectives, Kid Rock and Jason Aldean have announced the “You Can’t Cancel America” Tour. It’s not just a tour; it’s a movement. It’s an uprising. It’s a revolutionary collaboration against everything that doesn’t smell like freedom or taste like barbecued ribs. The announcement […]
Read More
Breaking: Judge Slam Dunks Bud Light’s $100 Billion Lawsuit Against Elon Musk
The court room was charged with tension, thick as the head on a poorly poured pint of Bud Light, when the unprecedented lawsuit of Bud Light against billionaire Elon Musk took a dramatic twist. In a satirical turn of events, the judge overseeing the trial metaphorically ‘slam dunked’ Bud Light’s $100 billion lawsuit against Musk, […]
Read More
Breaking: Bud Light Blames Elon Musk for Declining Sales
It seems that the Bud Light universe has taken a turn for the surreal, as the beer behemoth recently announced that they were laying the blame for their declining sales squarely at the feet of tech magnate and space enthusiast, Elon Musk. Yes, you read that correctly. In a bizarre twist that could only occur […]
Read More
Megan Rapinoe’s ‘Unforgivable’ Act Spurs US Team’s Decision: ‘Consider Early Retirement’
In an outlandish turn of events that has left the world both baffled and tickled, American soccer sensation Megan Rapinoe was shockingly benched by the US national team for what they’ve christened as an “unforgivable” behavior. The heinous act? Hold your breath – she didn’t sing the national anthem. The tragedy of it all, it […]
Read More
TRUE: Cadance Owens Takes Charge, ‘Lia Thomas Should Be Banned From Women’s Sports’
Ah, the age-old tradition of commenting on matters that blend sports with socio-politics. If there’s anything that brings out the armchair experts in full force, it’s this explosive combination. Enter Candace Owens, the political commentator who would presumably rather play referee than spectator. Her latest buzzer-beater? Lia Thomas should be exiled from women’s sports. Let’s […]
Read More