Breaking: Lia Thomas Banned From Participating In Women’s Sports, “She Doesn’t Fit”
In a world more obsessed with rules than a hall monitor with a new whistle, the International Women’s Sports Federation (IWSF) announced today that Lia Thomas, the lightning rod trans athlete, has been banned from participating in women’s sports. First, let’s address the elephant in the room or, in this case, the grizzly bear on […]
Read More
Breaking: Elon Musk to reveal information that puts Bill Gates behind bars
Ever since Elon Musk took to Twitter to hint at potential bombshell revelations about tech mogul Bill Gates, speculation has run rife. The SpaceX and Tesla CEO left followers in suspense with a tweet that read, “I’ve got the goods to put Gates behind bars. Stay tuned.” This claim, presented with all the subtlety of […]
Read More
Breaking: Elon Musk Is Going To Expose Bill Gates Soon, Says ‘He’s Evil’
In the latest saga of tech billionaires trading barbs, the ever unpredictable Elon Musk has fired a new salvo, aimed directly at Bill Gates. Yes, the self-proclaimed ‘technoking’, the man who aspires to colonize Mars, and the mind behind ‘Not-a-Flamethrower’, has put Gates squarely in his crosshairs. The accusation? “Bill Gates is evil, going to […]
Read More
Breaking: Whoopi Goldberg Faceplants During Debate With Jason Aldean On ‘The View’
In a cataclysmic collision of pop culture and country music, Whoopi Goldberg, revered comedian and stalwart of ‘The View’, found herself on shaky ground during a recent debate with none other than Jason Aldean, the country singer who has been stirring the pot of controversy lately. Whoopi, never one to shy away from controversy herself, […]
Read More
Breaking: Whoopi Goldberg sues Elon Musk
In a surreal turn of events, iconic television personality Whoopi Goldberg has leveled a hefty lawsuit against billionaire tech mogul Elon Musk, making it one of the most intriguing and seemingly far-fetched courtroom dramas in recent years. The lawsuit stems from an alleged altercation between the two influential figures, making headlines globally. Apparently, Goldberg has […]
Read More
Breaking: HBO Gives ‘Toxic’ Kathy Griffin The Boot After Elon Musk’s Intervention
When you think of the zany billionaire inventor and entrepreneur Elon Musk, a few things likely spring to mind. Maybe it’s electric cars that look like they’re from the future. Perhaps it’s ambitious plans to colonize Mars. Or, if you’ve been keeping track of the news lately, it might just be the surprising influence he […]
Read More
TRUE: Disney’s ‘Woke’ Agenda Leads to Nearly $100 Billion in Losses from Recent Box Office Flops
Once upon a time, in a world filled with enchanted princesses, anthropomorphic toys, and an unfathomable amount of merchandising, Disney was the monarch of the movie kingdom. Today, that world seems as distant as Neverland, thanks to Disney’s recent box-office debacles that have resulted in a staggering loss of almost $100 billion. Yes, you read […]
Read More
Breaking: Jason Aldean Slaps Whoopi Goldberg with a $100 Billion Lawsuit
Just when we thought the fiasco surrounding Jason Aldean’s contentious hit “Try That in a Small Town” was finally starting to simmer down, the country music superstar has turned up the heat yet again. This time, not by delivering another chart-topping hit, but by launching a cool $100 billion lawsuit against the legendary talk show […]
Read More
TRUE: Geraldo Rivera Vows To Never Return To “The View’ Due To Whoopi Goldberg’s Toxic Presence
Once upon a daytime TV saga, Geraldo Rivera, the erstwhile mainstay of Fox News, made a surprising foray into the lively realm of ABC’s ‘The View.’ However, as unpredictable as the spinning of a dramatic soap opera wheel, his stay was cut short. The reason? The vibrant co-host, Whoopi Goldberg, labeled by Rivera as ‘toxic.’ […]
Read More
Breaking: Tucker Carlson Sues Whoopi Goldberg Over ‘Defamation’
Buckle up, dear readers, for we are diving headfirst into a bizarre tale of politics, celebrities, and a billion-dollar lawsuit that even the most inventive Hollywood screenwriter couldn’t conjure up. In this latest episode of “As the World Turns Absurd,” the ever-controversial Tucker Carlson has decided to file a lawsuit. The defendant? None other than […]
Read More