Just in: Roseanne Joins Kid Rock’s “No Snowflakes” Tour for Limited Appearances
Roseanne Barr, the controversial comedian, has announced that she will be making limited appearances on Kid Rock’s “No Snowflakes” tour. The tour, which is set to kick off next month, has already generated a lot of buzz due to its controversial name and its association with the conservative musician. In a statement released to the […]
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Kid Rock Takes on American Patriotism, Promotes ‘American Patriot Beer’
Kid Rock, the self-proclaimed “American Bad Ass,” is back in the headlines again, this time for his new venture: “American Patriot Beer.” The launch of the brand comes just months after a legal dispute with Bud Light, which resulted in a million-dollar lawsuit. The feud between Kid Rock and Bud Light began when the rapper’s […]
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Just in: Griffin, Milano, and Paltrow Join “The View”
In a bold move to keep up with the changing times, the popular daytime talk show “The View” has announced that it will be going online, with a whole new lineup of hosts that includes Kathy Griffin, Alyssa Milano, and Gwyneth Paltrow. The decision to move “The View” to an online format was reportedly made […]
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Former Swimmer Riley Gaines Sues Lia Thomas for $2 Million: “She Took Everything From Me”
In a shocking turn of events, former swimmer Riley Gaines has filed a $2 million lawsuit against fellow athlete Lia Thomas, claiming that Thomas “took everything” from her. The lawsuit alleges that Thomas, who is transgender and has been making waves in the swimming world, unfairly dominated the competition and left Gaines in the dust. […]
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Jack Daniels’ ‘Woke’ Statement Costs Company $100 Million in Sales and Counting
In what can only be described as a sobering turn of events, Jack Daniels has announced that it lost a staggering $100 million in one “woke” weekend. The whiskey company’s woes began when it released a statement expressing support for the Black Lives Matter movement and pledging to do more to promote diversity and inclusion. […]
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Spielberg’s ‘Color Purple’ Sequel Drops Whoopi Goldberg
In a move that has left fans reeling, it has been announced that Whoopi Goldberg will not be reprising her role in the upcoming sequel to Steven Spielberg’s ‘The Color Purple.’ Sources close to the production say that Goldberg was let go due to creative differences with the director, though rumors abound that she was […]
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Bud Light’s Fiasco Causes Over $1 Billion in Losses, Leaving Investors Fuming
In a stunning turn of events, the Bud Light Fiasco has reportedly cost the company over $1 billion in losses, leaving investors absolutely furious. The debacle began when Bud Light decided to release a new line of flavored beers, including such questionable flavors as Bacon and Maple Syrup, Spicy Nacho Cheese, and Ranch Dressing. Despite […]
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Kid Rock Ditches Bud Light for Miller in $40 Million Sponsorship Deal: “F*** You, Bud Light!”
In a bold move that is sure to ruffle some feathers in the beer industry, Kid Rock has reportedly signed a $40 million sponsorship deal with Miller, effectively ending his long-standing relationship with rival brand Bud Light. According to sources close to the deal, Kid Rock was drawn to Miller’s “no-nonsense” approach to beer-making, which […]
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NASCAR cuts ties with Budweiser over “woke” values
In a shocking move that has sent shockwaves through the racing world, NASCAR has announced that it is dropping its long-standing sponsorship deal with Budweiser, citing concerns that the beer brand has become too “woke” in recent years. According to sources close to the decision, NASCAR officials became increasingly uncomfortable with Budweiser’s public statements on […]
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Pabst outshines Budweiser: Bags $124m exclusive beer deal with Kid Rock’s world tour
In a surprising move that has left many in the beer industry scratching their heads, Pabst Brewing Company has reportedly snatched a $124 million deal from Budweiser to become the “exclusive provider” for Kid Rock’s upcoming world tour. According to sources close to the deal, Pabst was able to woo the “American Bad Ass” singer […]
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