Breaking: Judge Slam Dunks Bud Light’s $100 Billion Lawsuit Against Elon Musk
The court room was charged with tension, thick as the head on a poorly poured pint of Bud Light, when the unprecedented lawsuit of Bud Light against billionaire Elon Musk took a dramatic twist. In a satirical turn of events, the judge overseeing the trial metaphorically ‘slam dunked’ Bud Light’s $100 billion lawsuit against Musk, […]
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Breaking: Bud Light Blames Elon Musk for Declining Sales
It seems that the Bud Light universe has taken a turn for the surreal, as the beer behemoth recently announced that they were laying the blame for their declining sales squarely at the feet of tech magnate and space enthusiast, Elon Musk. Yes, you read that correctly. In a bizarre twist that could only occur […]
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Megan Rapinoe’s ‘Unforgivable’ Act Spurs US Team’s Decision: ‘Consider Early Retirement’
In an outlandish turn of events that has left the world both baffled and tickled, American soccer sensation Megan Rapinoe was shockingly benched by the US national team for what they’ve christened as an “unforgivable” behavior. The heinous act? Hold your breath – she didn’t sing the national anthem. The tragedy of it all, it […]
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Breaking: Lia Thomas Banned From Participating In Women’s Sports, “She Doesn’t Fit”
In a world more obsessed with rules than a hall monitor with a new whistle, the International Women’s Sports Federation (IWSF) announced today that Lia Thomas, the lightning rod trans athlete, has been banned from participating in women’s sports. First, let’s address the elephant in the room or, in this case, the grizzly bear on […]
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Breaking: Elon Musk to reveal information that puts Bill Gates behind bars
Ever since Elon Musk took to Twitter to hint at potential bombshell revelations about tech mogul Bill Gates, speculation has run rife. The SpaceX and Tesla CEO left followers in suspense with a tweet that read, “I’ve got the goods to put Gates behind bars. Stay tuned.” This claim, presented with all the subtlety of […]
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Breaking: Elon Musk Is Going To Expose Bill Gates Soon, Says ‘He’s Evil’
In the latest saga of tech billionaires trading barbs, the ever unpredictable Elon Musk has fired a new salvo, aimed directly at Bill Gates. Yes, the self-proclaimed ‘technoking’, the man who aspires to colonize Mars, and the mind behind ‘Not-a-Flamethrower’, has put Gates squarely in his crosshairs. The accusation? “Bill Gates is evil, going to […]
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Breaking: Whoopi Goldberg Faceplants During Debate With Jason Aldean On ‘The View’
In a cataclysmic collision of pop culture and country music, Whoopi Goldberg, revered comedian and stalwart of ‘The View’, found herself on shaky ground during a recent debate with none other than Jason Aldean, the country singer who has been stirring the pot of controversy lately. Whoopi, never one to shy away from controversy herself, […]
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Breaking: Whoopi Goldberg sues Elon Musk
In a surreal turn of events, iconic television personality Whoopi Goldberg has leveled a hefty lawsuit against billionaire tech mogul Elon Musk, making it one of the most intriguing and seemingly far-fetched courtroom dramas in recent years. The lawsuit stems from an alleged altercation between the two influential figures, making headlines globally. Apparently, Goldberg has […]
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Breaking: HBO Gives ‘Toxic’ Kathy Griffin The Boot After Elon Musk’s Intervention
When you think of the zany billionaire inventor and entrepreneur Elon Musk, a few things likely spring to mind. Maybe it’s electric cars that look like they’re from the future. Perhaps it’s ambitious plans to colonize Mars. Or, if you’ve been keeping track of the news lately, it might just be the surprising influence he […]
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TRUE: Disney’s ‘Woke’ Agenda Leads to Nearly $100 Billion in Losses from Recent Box Office Flops
Once upon a time, in a world filled with enchanted princesses, anthropomorphic toys, and an unfathomable amount of merchandising, Disney was the monarch of the movie kingdom. Today, that world seems as distant as Neverland, thanks to Disney’s recent box-office debacles that have resulted in a staggering loss of almost $100 billion. Yes, you read […]
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