Ilhan Omar’s Shocking Scandal: Husband/Brother Deported to Pakistan to Face Incest Charges
Washington D.C. – In a shocking turn of events, Ahmed Nur Said Elmi, the husband/brother of Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, has been deported to Pakistan to face charges of immigration fraud and incest. Elmi, who had been living in the United States under false pretenses, was arrested by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents last week and […]
Read More
Steeler’s Coach Mike Tomlin Says “No More Kneeling on the Field!”
Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin recently made headlines when he announced that there will be no more kneeling on his field. “You’re athletes, not activists,” Tomlin declared, seemingly unaware of the rich tradition of athletes using their platform to bring attention to social issues. In a press conference, Tomlin explained his reasoning for the ban. […]
Read More
Just in: Gordon Ramsay Throws Whoopi Goldberg Out of His Restaurant
Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay made headlines yet again after he reportedly threw Whoopi Goldberg out of his restaurant in Las Vegas. The incident occurred last night when Goldberg and her entourage arrived at Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen restaurant for dinner. According to eyewitnesses, Ramsay was in a foul mood from the start of the evening. He […]
Read More
Just in: Six Raiders Threatened to Quit if the Team Signed Colin Kaepernick
In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the NFL community, it has been reported that six players on the Las Vegas Raiders roster have threatened to quit the team if management signs controversial quarterback Colin Kaepernick. According to sources close to the situation, the six players, who have not been named, are staunch […]
Read More
Michael Jordan Cuts Ties with Nike Over “Woke” Agenda, Takes Air Jordans With Him
Beaverton, Oregon – In a stunning move that has rocked the sports and fashion world, basketball legend Michael Jordan has announced his resignation from the board of directors at Nike, citing the company’s recent embrace of “woke” culture as his reason for stepping down. According to sources close to Jordan, the six-time NBA champion was […]
Read More
The View” Desperate for Viewers, Offers $50 to Anyone Willing to Attend Show
New York City – In a shocking move, the popular daytime talk show “The View” has announced that it will begin paying people to be in the audience. This decision comes as the show faces declining ratings and struggles to attract a live audience. Sources close to the production have revealed that the show will […]
Read More
Just in: Olympic Committee Bans Troublemaker Megan Rapinoe for Life
In a stunning move, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has announced that it has banned Megan Rapinoe from participating in any future Olympic events for life. The decision comes after Rapinoe repeatedly caused trouble at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, where she competed with the US Women’s Soccer Team. According to an official statement from the […]
Read More
Just in: ABC Says It Cut Joy and Whoopi’s Pay in Half to Keep The View Afloat
New York City – In a shocking announcement yesterday, ABC revealed that it had cut the pay of Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg in half in order to keep their daytime talk show, The View, afloat. According to sources close to the network, the decision was made after executives realized that the show was hemorrhaging […]
Read More
Whoopi Goldberg Goes Nuclear: Fires Back After Unexpected Termination from ‘The View
In a shocking turn of events, longtime co-host of “The View,” Whoopi Goldberg, reportedly exploded in a fiery rage after being fired from the show. According to sources close to the situation, Goldberg was “absolutely livid” when she received the news, which was delivered to her via a curt phone call from the show’s producers. […]
Read More
Just in: Biden Calls America The Worst Country on Earth
Washington D.C. – President Joe Biden shocked the nation today with a startling admission during a press conference at the White House. Biden called America the worst country on Earth, saying, “There’s no denying that we’re the worst of the worst.” The statement sent shockwaves through the political establishment, with many lawmakers calling for Biden […]
Read More