traditional values

Bud Light Olympics
Satire

Breaking: Bud Light Becomes Major Sponsor of Olympics 2024 After Most Non-Woke Companies Drop Out

In a turn of events that has both left jaws dropping and social media buzzing, Bud Light has become the major sponsor of the 2024 Paris Olympics. This comes after a mass exodus of traditionally conservative, non-woke companies, who have decided to drop out of sponsoring the event, citing concerns over what they view as […]

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Samung Olympics Gig
Satire

Breaking: Samsung Drops Out of $1 Billion Advertising Campaign with Olympics, “They’ve Gone Woke”

In a surprising and highly publicized move, Samsung Electronics has announced its withdrawal from a $1 billion advertising campaign with the International Olympic Committee (IOC). The decision comes in response to what the company describes as the Olympics’ increasingly “woke” agenda, a stance that has stirred significant debate within both corporate and sporting worlds. Samsung […]

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Clint Eastwood Pride Month
Satire

Clint Eastwood: “Thank God I Don’t Have To Hear About Pride Month For Another Year!”

In a world where Hollywood stars often lean towards progressive causes and public displays of solidarity, Clint Eastwood remains a stoic outlier. At 93, the veteran actor and director has long been known for his no-nonsense, straight-shooting demeanor. Recently, he made headlines again with a statement that perfectly encapsulates his traditional, somewhat curmudgeonly persona: “Thank […]

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Elon Musk Pride Month Boy Scouts
Satire

Breaking: Elon Musk Ends His Long-Term Partnership With Boy Scouts, “It Became A Woke Organization”

In a surprising and controversial move, tech billionaire Elon Musk has ended his long-standing partnership with the Boy Scouts of America (BSA), citing the organization’s celebration of Pride Month as the primary reason for his decision. Musk, known for his outspoken views and bold business moves, labeled the organization as “woke,” indicating his disapproval of […]

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Clint Eastwood Male Leads Movies
Satire

Breaking: Clint Eastwood’s New Movie to Feature Only White Male Leads, “We’re Bringing Back the Good Old Days”

In a move that can only be described as a masterstroke of nostalgia, legendary filmmaker Clint Eastwood has announced his latest project: a film featuring an all-white, all-male cast. Titled “The Good Old Days,” the film promises to bring back the golden era of Hollywood when diversity was an afterthought, and leading roles were exclusively […]

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Denzel Academy Awards
Satire

Breaking: Denzel Washington Launches Anti-Woke Academy Awards, “No Woke Nonsense Allowed”

In a bold and unexpected move, acclaimed actor and director Denzel Washington has announced the launch of a new awards show aimed at countering what he perceives as the overwhelming presence of “woke” culture in Hollywood. The “Anti-Woke Academy Awards,” set to debut next year, promises to celebrate films and performances based on traditional artistic […]

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Denzels Cos
Satire

Breaking: Denzel Washington Resigns As Brand Ambassador Of Tractor Supply Co, “I Don’t Work With Woke Companies”

In a surprising move that has sent shockwaves through the entertainment and corporate worlds, acclaimed actor Denzel Washington has announced his resignation as the brand ambassador of Tractor Supply Co, citing a strong stance against what he describes as the company’s “woke” policies. This decision has ignited a heated debate on the role of politics […]

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Elon Musk Tractors Supply Co
Satire

Breaking: Elon Musk Pulls Funding from Tractor Supply Co, “Not a Single Penny to Woke Organizations”

In a move that has taken both the business and social spheres by storm, billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk has announced that he is pulling funding from Tractor Supply Co, citing his refusal to support what he describes as “woke” organizations. This decision has sparked widespread discussion and debate, highlighting the deepening divide between traditional business […]

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Tim Dave Dennis Quaid
Satire

Breaking: Dennis Quaid Joins Roseanne Barr and Tim Allen’s New Non-Woke Actors’ Alliance

In an era where the entertainment industry is frequently polarized by social and political ideologies, a new alliance is making headlines. Veteran actors Roseanne Barr and Tim Allen have launched a “Non-Woke Actors’ Alliance,” and their latest addition, Dennis Quaid, has added significant star power to the movement. This alliance aims to provide a platform […]

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Trucker Supply Trace Adkins
Satire

Breaking: Trace Adkins Resigns As Spokesperson For Tractor Supply Co, “I Won’t Go Woke Ever”

In a surprising and significant move, country music star Trace Adkins has announced his resignation as the spokesperson for Tractor Supply Co, a leading provider of trucking equipment and gear. Citing his disapproval of the company’s shift towards a more progressive, socially conscious business model, Adkins declared, “I won’t go woke ever.” This bold statement […]

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