Mark Wahlberg Rejects Disney’s $2 Billion Project: “No Chance I’ll Work With Them Again, Don’t Need That Wokeness in My Life”
In a shocking and self-assured move, Hollywood superstar Mark Wahlberg has turned down a $2 billion offer from Disney to star in its latest blockbuster project, citing a staunch refusal to be associated with the company’s growing “wokeness.” “I’m done. No chance I’ll work with them again. I don’t need that wokeness in my life,” […]
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Breaking: Netflix Loses Almost 10 Million Subscribers in a Day After Big Donation
Hello America! Let me stun you guys with Netflix’s recent gigantic loss. Yes, you got it right. But why? What went wrong? Why did users get offended? Well, folks, hold down… Netflix’s CEO and Co-Founder, Wilmot Reed Hastings Jr., just donated $7 million to Kamala Harris’ presidential campaign. But wait… This big buck donation is […]
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Breaking: NFL Coaches Announce Permanent Ban on Pride Month Celebrations, “No Place for This Wokeness”
In a move that has sent shockwaves through both the sports world and wider society, a group of NFL coaches has announced a permanent ban on Pride Month celebrations within their teams. The decision, accompanied by the declaration that there is “no place for this wokeness” in football, has ignited a fierce debate about inclusivity, […]
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Breaking: Robert Downey Jr. Declines “Woke” Film with Robert De Niro, “Wokeness Destroyed My Career and Life”
Robert Downey Jr., known for his pivotal role as Iron Man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, is no stranger to overcoming personal and professional adversity. Having rejuvenated his career with a spectacular comeback following a series of personal struggles, Downey Jr. is once again in the spotlight after reportedly declining a film project with fellow […]
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Breaking: Riley Gaines Wins $50 Million Lawsuit Against NCAA for Unfair Medal Distribution, “A Victory Against Wokeness”
In a groundbreaking legal battle that has captivated the sports world, swimmer Riley Gaines has emerged victorious in her lawsuit against the NCAA. The $50 million settlement, awarded to Gaines for what she deems as unfair medal distribution, marks a significant win not only for the athlete but also for those critical of what they […]
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Breaking: Keanu Reeves to Host 96th Oscar Awards, Jimmy Kimmel Banned for Life Due to Wokeness
In an unexpected twist that has taken Hollywood and fans by surprise, Keanu Reeves, the beloved actor known for his roles in blockbuster hits like “The Matrix” and “John Wick,” has been announced as the host for the 96th Oscar Awards. This decision marks a significant departure from tradition, not only in the choice of […]
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Breaking: Stephen King Faces Bankruptcy After Going Woke, ‘I Don’t Know What Went Wrong’
In an ironic twist of fate reminiscent of his own narrative style, acclaimed author Stephen King, a figure known for his progressive stances, is reportedly facing bankruptcy. This development comes as a shock to many, considering King’s long-standing success as a best-selling author and influential cultural figure. The situation raises questions about the viability of […]
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TRUE: Nike Cuts Ties with Colin Kaepernick, Ends $20 Million Partnership
In an unexpected twist, sports apparel behemoth Nike announced the termination of its $20 million partnership with former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick. The reason? According to inside sources, the company deemed Kaepernick “a bit too woke” for its taste. Nike’s partnership with Kaepernick began in 2018, a bold and controversial move that led to a […]
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‘They’re Too Woke’: Denzel Washington Refuses To Work With Disney
In a world where celebrities often tread lightly around controversial topics, Denzel Washington’s recent decision to distance himself from Disney has sent shockwaves throughout the entertainment industry. The two-time Academy Award-winning actor, known for his roles in films like “Training Day” and “Malcolm X”, has publicly stated that he will not be working with the […]
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TRUE: Sylvester Stallone Declines Disney’s Half-Billion Dollar ‘Woke’ Film Proposal
In a move that has left Hollywood’s elite gasping for air (and not just from their high-intensity Pilates sessions), Sylvester Stallone, the man who once single-handedly took on the entire Soviet Union in a boxing ring, has turned down a jaw-dropping $500 million movie offer from Disney. His reason? He’s had enough of the “woke […]
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