Just in: Renowned Neurosurgeon Says Whoopi Goldberg Needs Brain Surgery ‘Immediately’
In a shocking turn of events, it has been reported that Goldberg, the former professional wrestler and current co-host of “The View,” needs brain surgery. Dr. John Smith, a renowned neurosurgeon, has stated that the surgery is “seriously necessary” for Goldberg’s well-being. According to Dr. Smith, Goldberg’s brain has been “seriously damaged” by years of […]
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Elon Musk Causes Budweiser to Suffer an $800 Million Loss
In a stunning turn of events, beer giant Budweiser has announced an $800 million loss after the recent Bud Light fiasco, which involved the shipment of several cases of beer to Dylan Mulvaney. The debacle was apparently sparked by a tweet from none other than Elon Musk, the eccentric billionaire and CEO of Tesla and […]
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Anheuser Busch to discontinue and rebrand their flagship beer: Bud Light
In a shocking move, Anheuser Busch has announced that they will be discontinuing their flagship beer brand, Bud Light, following a recent PR disaster. The decision comes after a series of unfortunate events that began when a case of Bud Light was sent to Dylan Mulvaney, a man from Michigan who had never shown any […]
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Just in: Roseanne Joins Kid Rock’s “No Snowflakes” Tour for Limited Appearances
Roseanne Barr, the controversial comedian, has announced that she will be making limited appearances on Kid Rock’s “No Snowflakes” tour. The tour, which is set to kick off next month, has already generated a lot of buzz due to its controversial name and its association with the conservative musician. In a statement released to the […]
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Kid Rock Takes on American Patriotism, Promotes ‘American Patriot Beer’
Kid Rock, the self-proclaimed “American Bad Ass,” is back in the headlines again, this time for his new venture: “American Patriot Beer.” The launch of the brand comes just months after a legal dispute with Bud Light, which resulted in a million-dollar lawsuit. The feud between Kid Rock and Bud Light began when the rapper’s […]
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Just in: Griffin, Milano, and Paltrow Join “The View”
In a bold move to keep up with the changing times, the popular daytime talk show “The View” has announced that it will be going online, with a whole new lineup of hosts that includes Kathy Griffin, Alyssa Milano, and Gwyneth Paltrow. The decision to move “The View” to an online format was reportedly made […]
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Just in: Kathy Griffin Arrested for Shoplifting In Beverly Hills
Kathy Griffin, the comedian and actress, was arrested on Wednesday for shoplifting at a high-end boutique in Beverly Hills. According to witnesses, Griffin was caught on camera stuffing several expensive items into her purse before attempting to walk out of the store without paying. Upon being stopped by store security, Griffin reportedly attempted to play […]
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Bud Light Fiasco Leads Anheuser-Busch to Dump Thousands of Unsold Kegs
Anheuser-Busch, the well-known brewery, has had to dump thousands of kegs of unsold Bud Light due to a botched marketing campaign. Their latest promotion, the “Bud Light Fiasco,” was meant to create hype and boost sales, but instead, it led to a significant loss for the company. According to sources within the company, the promotion […]
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Bud Light’s Mistake Nets Kid Rock Over $30 Million in Earnings
In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that Kid Rock has made more than $30 million dollars from Bud Light’s mistake of endorsing Dylan Mulvaney instead of him. Sources close to the situation say that Kid Rock had been quietly seething after Bud Light mistakenly endorsed Dylan Mulvaney, a relatively unknown country […]
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Lia Thomas Announces Desire to Revert To Be Male Again: “I’ve Accomplished My Goals”
In a surprising turn of events, Lia Thomas, the transgender swimmer who made headlines for competing on the women’s team at the NCAA championships, has announced that she wants to transition back to being male. In a statement to the media, Thomas explained that while she had enjoyed her time as a female athlete, she […]
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