Just in: Budweiser Brands Won’t Be Welcome at Oktoberfest For The 1st Time in 75 Years
Budweiser Brands Won’t Be Welcome at Oktoberfest For The 1st Time in 75 Years Due to “Unacceptable Taste”. In a shocking move, the organizers of Oktoberfest have announced that Budweiser brands will not be allowed at the festival for the first time in 75 years. The reason? “Unacceptable taste.” “We have received complaints from too […]
Read More
Jack Daniels’ ‘Woke’ Statement Costs Company $100 Million in Sales and Counting
In what can only be described as a sobering turn of events, Jack Daniels has announced that it lost a staggering $100 million in one “woke” weekend. The whiskey company’s woes began when it released a statement expressing support for the Black Lives Matter movement and pledging to do more to promote diversity and inclusion. […]
Read More
Spielberg’s ‘Color Purple’ Sequel Drops Whoopi Goldberg
In a move that has left fans reeling, it has been announced that Whoopi Goldberg will not be reprising her role in the upcoming sequel to Steven Spielberg’s ‘The Color Purple.’ Sources close to the production say that Goldberg was let go due to creative differences with the director, though rumors abound that she was […]
Read More
NASCAR cuts ties with Budweiser over “woke” values
In a shocking move that has sent shockwaves through the racing world, NASCAR has announced that it is dropping its long-standing sponsorship deal with Budweiser, citing concerns that the beer brand has become too “woke” in recent years. According to sources close to the decision, NASCAR officials became increasingly uncomfortable with Budweiser’s public statements on […]
Read More
Breaking: Kid Rock Signs $20 Million Deal with Miller, Tells Bud Light to “F*** Off”
Kid Rock, the notorious American musician and self-proclaimed “badass”, has just signed a whopping $40 million sponsorship deal with Miller beer. The announcement came as a shock to many in the industry, as Kid Rock has long been associated with Budweiser. But according to sources close to the deal, Kid Rock was lured away by […]
Read More
NFL Mediator Supports Coach Tomlin’s Decision to Bench or Fire Players Who Kneel During National Anthem
In a stunning turn of events, the NFL’s mediator has come out in support of Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin’s decision to bench or even fire players who kneel during the national anthem. The decision, which has sparked outrage among players and fans alike, comes after months of heated debate over whether kneeling during […]
Read More
Kid Rock Defies Anheuser Busch’s Lawsuit Threats With “Bring It On” Attitude
In a move that surprised no one, Kid Rock has responded to Anheuser Busch’s threat of a lawsuit with a defiant “Bring it on.” The feud between the beer giant and the washed-up rocker began when Anheuser Busch pulled their sponsorship from Kid Rock’s upcoming tour, citing his recent controversial comments and behavior. Kid Rock, […]
Read More