Elon Musk Pulls $1 Billion Show From CBS After Alleged Bias in Debate: “CBS Is Toast”
In a shocking move that has rattled the media world, tech mogul and Twitter extraordinaire Elon Musk has officially pulled his $1 billion show from CBS. Following what Musk called an “extremely biased” vice-presidential debate hosted by the network, the billionaire decided it was time to cut ties, calling CBS “the most unwatchable, agenda-driven network […]
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J.D. Vance To Sue CBS For $1 Billion After Obvious Bias in the VP Debate
In what can only be described as the most predictable lawsuit of the election season, Republican vice-presidential candidate J.D. Vance has announced plans to sue CBS for a whopping $1 billion, claiming the network’s moderators displayed blatant bias against him during the vice-presidential debate. The Ohio senator, who faced off against Democratic nominee Tim Walz […]
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ABC Loses Almost 1 Million Subscribers Overnight After Elon Musk’s Boycott Call
In what may go down as one of the most dramatic media shake-ups of the year, ABC has reportedly lost almost 1 million subscribers overnight. The reason? One tweet from tech mogul Elon Musk, who, after witnessing what he described as “blatant bias” during ABC’s recent presidential debate coverage, called for a full-blown boycott of […]
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ABC Stores Across the US Display Signs Declaring No Affiliation With ABC Network After Debate
In the aftermath of the heated 2024 presidential debate, ABC stores across the United States have begun displaying bold signage to make one thing crystal clear: they have absolutely no connection to the television network responsible for airing the contentious event. From “ABC Fine Wine & Spirits” to “ABC Warehouse,” locations are posting disclaimers on […]
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ABC Fires Entire Staff Amid Debate Backlash, “It Was Our Biggest Mistake”
In a corporate purge worthy of a dystopian novel, ABC has decided to fire its entire staff after the network found itself at the center of a post-debate backlash tsunami. From seasoned anchors to cafeteria workers, no one was safe from the network’s hasty response to the uproar that followed its now-infamous Trump vs. Harris […]
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ABC Loses 5 Major Advertisers After Debate, Costing the Media Company $27 Million: “We Won’t Host Any Debates in the Future”
In a plot twist that could only happen in 2024, ABC has officially lost five major advertisers following the fallout from its controversial handling of the latest presidential debate. The network, known for its polished news broadcasts and long-standing tradition of hosting political events, has now been hit where it hurts most: its wallet. The […]
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Breaking: Lia Thomas Banned From Participating In Women’s Sports, “She Doesn’t Fit”
In a world more obsessed with rules than a hall monitor with a new whistle, the International Women’s Sports Federation (IWSF) announced today that Lia Thomas, the lightning rod trans athlete, has been banned from participating in women’s sports. First, let’s address the elephant in the room or, in this case, the grizzly bear on […]
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Breaking: Whoopi Goldberg Faceplants During Debate With Jason Aldean On ‘The View’
In a cataclysmic collision of pop culture and country music, Whoopi Goldberg, revered comedian and stalwart of ‘The View’, found herself on shaky ground during a recent debate with none other than Jason Aldean, the country singer who has been stirring the pot of controversy lately. Whoopi, never one to shy away from controversy herself, […]
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Harvard Alumna Causes Stir Online by Walking Out on Merrick Garland’s Speech
Emma Heussner, a recent Harvard alumna and current social media director for the Daily Caller, made headlines when she left her own commencement ceremony as Merrick Garland, the controversial Attorney General under the Biden administration, took the stage to deliver his speech. Heussner later shared her thoughts in an interview, expressing her disbelief at the […]
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Jon Voight Unleashes On Whoopi Goldberg On The View: “Get The F**K Out If You Don’t Like It Here”
In a recent interview on The View, Jon Voight, the Academy Award-winning actor known for his conservative views, lost his cool with co-host Whoopi Goldberg. The heated exchange began when Goldberg challenged Voight on his support for former President Donald Trump, citing his controversial policies and statements. Voight, who has been a vocal supporter of […]
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