Satire
Anheuser Busch’s CEO Steps Down Following Record-Low Bud Light Sales
In a shocking turn of events, Anheuser Busch CEO, Michel Doukeris, has announced his resignation amidst a catastrophic decline in Bud Light sales. Sources close to the company say that Doukeris made the decision to step down after realizing that Bud Light sales had hit an all-time low. Apparently, the recent trend towards healthier living […]
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Satire
Just in: ‘Star Trek’ Refuses to Hire Whoopi Goldberg
In a stunning display of short-sightedness, the producers of the upcoming Star Trek reboot have announced that they will not be hiring legendary actress Whoopi Goldberg to reprise her iconic role as Guinan. According to sources close to the production, the decision was made after Goldberg publicly criticized the lack of diversity in the film […]
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Breaking: Kid Rock Signs $20 Million Deal with Miller, Tells Bud Light to “F*** Off”
Kid Rock, the notorious American musician and self-proclaimed “badass”, has just signed a whopping $40 million sponsorship deal with Miller beer. The announcement came as a shock to many in the industry, as Kid Rock has long been associated with Budweiser. But according to sources close to the deal, Kid Rock was lured away by […]
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