Kid Rock Ditches Bud Light for Miller in $40 Million Sponsorship Deal: “F*** You, Bud Light!”
In a bold move that is sure to ruffle some feathers in the beer industry, Kid Rock has reportedly signed a $40 million sponsorship deal with Miller, effectively ending his long-standing relationship with rival brand Bud Light. According to sources close to the deal, Kid Rock was drawn to Miller’s “no-nonsense” approach to beer-making, which […]
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NASCAR cuts ties with Budweiser over “woke” values
In a shocking move that has sent shockwaves through the racing world, NASCAR has announced that it is dropping its long-standing sponsorship deal with Budweiser, citing concerns that the beer brand has become too “woke” in recent years. According to sources close to the decision, NASCAR officials became increasingly uncomfortable with Budweiser’s public statements on […]
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Pabst outshines Budweiser: Bags $124m exclusive beer deal with Kid Rock’s world tour
In a surprising move that has left many in the beer industry scratching their heads, Pabst Brewing Company has reportedly snatched a $124 million deal from Budweiser to become the “exclusive provider” for Kid Rock’s upcoming world tour. According to sources close to the deal, Pabst was able to woo the “American Bad Ass” singer […]
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Just in: Budweiser Loses Top Spot as Best-Selling Beer After 60 Years
In a stunning upset, Budweiser has fallen out as the number-one-selling beer in the United States for the first time in 60 years. The iconic brand, known for its distinctive red and white can, has been knocked off its perch by an upstart craft brewery from Portland, Oregon. The brewery, which goes by the name […]
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Just in: Anheuser Busch Stuck With A Million Unsellable Bud Light “Trans Cans”
Anheuser Busch is in hot water after a recent marketing campaign for their popular beer brand, Bud Light, went terribly wrong. In an attempt to show its support for the LGBTQ+ community, the company released a limited edition line of “Trans Cans” featuring the iconic Bud Light blue and white colors with a rainbow stripe […]
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Roseanne Barr Launches Bud Light-Themed Shooting Range
In a move that is sure to raise eyebrows, former television star Roseanne Barr has announced that she is opening up a new Bud Light-themed shooting range in rural Oklahoma. The range, which will feature targets emblazoned with the iconic Bud Light logo, is being touted by Barr as a way to combine her two […]
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just in: Budweiser Incurs $800 Million Loss in a Single Day
In a shocking development, Budweiser, the beloved beer brand that has been a staple at backyard barbecues and frat parties for generations, has suffered a massive financial setback. According to industry insiders, the company’s latest attempt to “go woke” by featuring transgender activist Dylan Mulvaney in their advertising campaign has backfired spectacularly, causing their stock […]
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Anheuser Busch’s CEO Steps Down Following Record-Low Bud Light Sales
In a shocking turn of events, Anheuser Busch CEO, Michel Doukeris, has announced his resignation amidst a catastrophic decline in Bud Light sales. Sources close to the company say that Doukeris made the decision to step down after realizing that Bud Light sales had hit an all-time low. Apparently, the recent trend towards healthier living […]
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Just in: Kathy Griffin Files for Bankruptcy, Cites Elon Musk as Cause
Los Angeles, California – Comedian Kathy Griffin is filing for bankruptcy after a series of unfortunate events that she claims were caused by none other than the tech billionaire Elon Musk. According to sources close to Griffin, the trouble began when she decided to purchase a Tesla Model S, Musk’s flagship electric car. Griffin, known […]
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Breaking: Kid Rock Signs $20 Million Deal with Miller, Tells Bud Light to “F*** Off”
Kid Rock, the notorious American musician and self-proclaimed “badass”, has just signed a whopping $40 million sponsorship deal with Miller beer. The announcement came as a shock to many in the industry, as Kid Rock has long been associated with Budweiser. But according to sources close to the deal, Kid Rock was lured away by […]
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