International Olympic Committee Bans Paris From Hosting Future Games: “They Went Too Far With Wokeness and Satanism”
In a shocking yet somehow inevitable turn of events, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has announced that Paris will be permanently banned from hosting future Olympic Games following the controversial opening ceremony of the 2024 Olympics. Citing a combination of “wokeness” and “satanic themes,” the IOC declared that the City of Light had crossed a […]
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Dunkin’ Donuts CEO Reveals A Loss of $1 Billion Since Going Woke: “We’re Sorry, Won’t Try That Again”
In a shocking revelation that has sent tremors through the fast-food industry, Dunkin’ Donuts CEO Dave Hoffmann has admitted that the company has suffered a staggering $1 billion loss after what he described as their ill-fated foray into “woke” politics. The confession, made during a hastily organized press conference outside the company’s Canton, Massachusetts headquarters, […]
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Breaking: Colin Kaepernick’s Plea to Participate in the Olympics 2024 Rejected Instantly by the Committee, “You’re Too Woke for the Game”
Folks, wake up and smell the coffee. The former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been ditched for getting into the Olympics 2024. But why? Because the Olympics has rejected his application, saying, *You are too woke for the game.” YES!!! You heard it right. Oh, come on! The boy wants to get in… let him […]
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Breaking: Netflix Suffers a Loss of $10 Million in A Day After Going Woke
Netflix faced a huge backlash from netizens for their bold move to save the world. Netflix has become the weakest streaming platform on earth, woah! And what happened? They lost $10 million just in a day, damn! The same Netflix that used to give you a bird box will now bring you to the grand […]
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Breaking: Denzel Washington Drops Out of $500 Million Project With Netflix, “The Company Has Gone Woke”
The Hollywood A-lister actor and Oscar-winning star, none other than “Denzel Washington,” has left everyone speechless and sent shockwaves through the world. Denzel has just dropped the flagship project with Netflix because he can’t tolerate their “wokeness” anymore. In an exclusive interview, Denzel shared his thoughts about his bold move. (Obviously, he can afford such […]
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Breaking: The Ellen DeGeneres Show Is Getting Canceled Soon, “Enough of This Woke Crap”
In a turn of events that has left Hollywood buzzing, “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” is reportedly on the brink of cancellation. After years of dominating daytime television, the show has seen a dramatic decline in viewership and popularity. The reason, many argue, is a relentless pursuit of woke culture that has alienated its core audience. […]
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Breaking: The Ellen Degeneres Show Becomes the Lowest Rated TV Show in History, “It’s Too Much Woke”
How The Queen of Nice became the lowest-rated TV show in history? Well, folks, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it – Ellen DeGeneres, the beloved queen of daytime talk TV, has become the lowest-rated show in history. What went wrong in her favor? Well, let me tell you, it’s not just a […]
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Breaking: Steelers’ Coach Tomlin Directs Team To Not Participate In Pride Month, “It’s Woke Crap”
In a move that has sent shockwaves through both the sports and social communities, Steelers’ Coach Mike Tomlin has directed his team not to participate in Pride Month activities, calling it “woke crap.” This decision has sparked a heated debate, drawing sharp reactions from fans, advocacy groups, and fellow athletes. Coach Mike Tomlin, known for […]
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Breaking: NBC Is Considering Cancelling “Woke” SNL, “The Show Hasn’t Been Funny in Years”
In a move that has sent ripples through the entertainment industry, NBC is reportedly considering canceling its long-running sketch comedy show, “Saturday Night Live” (SNL). Sources close to the network cite a significant drop in the show’s humor quotient, particularly following its recent ‘woke’ transformation, as the primary reason behind this consideration. “The show hasn’t […]
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