ABC Forces Whoopi to Choose Between Co-Hosts: Fire Sunny or Joy
In a shocking development, ABC has reportedly given Whoopi Goldberg an ultimatum: “Fire Sunny or Joy – the choice is yours.” Apparently, executives at the network have grown tired of the constant bickering and on-air arguments between co-hosts Sunny Hostin and Joy Behar, and they’ve decided that one of them has to go. According to […]
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Just in: Kid Rock’s “No Snowflakes” Tour Sells Out All 30 Shows in Under an Hour
In what can only be described as a shocking turn of events, Kid Rock’s “No Snowflakes” tour has sold out all 30 of its shows in under an hour. Apparently, there are more people out there who are offended by snowflakes than we ever could have imagined. For those who are unfamiliar with Kid Rock’s […]
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Shocking Verdict: QAnon Shaman to Walk Free as Judge Grants New Trial
In a shocking turn of events, Judge Judy, known for her no-nonsense approach to justice, has declared that Jacob Chansley, the infamous “QAnon Shaman,” will be released and given a new trial. This decision has sparked outrage among many Americans who believe that Chansley should be locked up and the key thrown away. But according […]
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Just in: ABC Exec Says Whoopi Goldberg Has To Go or The View Gets Canceled
In a stunning announcement, an ABC executive has declared that the popular talk show, The View, will be canceled unless Whoopi Goldberg is removed from the show. According to sources close to the executive, Whoopi’s recent comments on the show have been deemed too controversial and divisive for the network’s taste. “Whoopi has just gone […]
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Just in: Volkswagon Abandons Alyssa Milano, “She Doesn’t Represent Us”
In a shocking move, Volkswagen has announced that they are abandoning Alyssa Milano as their spokesperson. The car manufacturer claims that Milano “doesn’t represent us” and that they are looking for someone more in line with their values. “We appreciate everything Alyssa has done for us over the years, but we have come to the […]
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Just in: ‘Star Trek’ Refuses to Hire Whoopi Goldberg
In a stunning display of short-sightedness, the producers of the upcoming Star Trek reboot have announced that they will not be hiring legendary actress Whoopi Goldberg to reprise her iconic role as Guinan. According to sources close to the production, the decision was made after Goldberg publicly criticized the lack of diversity in the film […]
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Just in: Whoopi Loses It, Gets Kicked Off Her Own Show
In a shocking turn of events, Whoopi Goldberg, the longtime host of the popular talk show “The View,” has been kicked off her own show after a heated on-air outburst. According to sources close to the show, Whoopi lost her temper during a segment discussing the latest political scandal. As her co-hosts attempted to steer […]
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Stephen King Gets Dumped by Publisher After Twitter Suspension
In a shocking turn of events, publishing giant Penguin Random House has announced that they are cutting ties with famed horror author Stephen King, following his suspension from Twitter. According to a statement from the company, they can no longer support an author who has been “de-platformed” from social media. “Stephen King’s suspension from Twitter […]
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WNBA’s Brittney Griner Slapped with 2-Year Suspension for Substance Abuse
In a stunning move, the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) has announced that they are suspending Brittney Griner, one of the league’s biggest stars, for two years due to substance abuse. The announcement came as a shock to many fans of the WNBA, who have long admired Griner’s skill and athleticism on the court. But […]
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The View Forced to Cut to Commercial to Save Whoopi Goldberg’s Reputation
In a shocking turn of events on the popular daytime talk show “The View,” the producers were forced to cut to a commercial break in order to save the reputation of co-host Whoopi Goldberg. The incident occurred during a heated discussion about politics when Goldberg made a controversial statement that left the other hosts and […]
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