Roseanne Barr Lands Massive $50M Fox News Offer for Morning Show Meant to Crush ‘The View’
In a move that has already caused three network executives to choke on their morning lattes, Fox News has reportedly placed a jaw-dropping $50 million offer on the table for Roseanne Barr to host a brand-new morning show — a direct, unapologetic, caffeinated missile aimed squarely at The View. If you listen closely, you can […]
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Jason Aldean Pulls Out of New York City Tour, Cites “Communist Takeover”: “I Don’t Support This Communist Regime.”
Jason Aldean has officially decided that New York City won’t be seeing his cowboy boots—or his microphone—anytime soon. The country music star announced that all his 2026 tour dates in NYC have been canceled, blaming the city’s new mayor, Zohran Mamdani, and what he called “a communist coup with better pizza.” Speaking to reporters outside […]
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Muslim New Yorkers Scramble to Undo Votes After Discovering Mamdani’s WOKE and A Communist, “WHAT HAVE WE DONE”
When Zohran Mamdani won the mayoral race in New York City, Muslim communities across the boroughs erupted in joy. Families gathered around their televisions, children waved miniature city flags, and WhatsApp groups exploded with congratulatory emojis and jubilant messages. “Finally, one of us!” wrote an uncle from Jackson Heights, his message quickly followed by celebratory […]
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Kid Rock Pulls Plug on New York Concerts For The Next Year, “I’ve Decided Not To Support New Communist Regime”
Kid Rock has announced that he is canceling all of his scheduled performances in New York City, declaring that he refuses to “perform under a communist regime” following the election of Zohran Mamdani as mayor. In a characteristically fiery post on social media, the musician wrote, “SORRY NEW YORK, BUT I DON’T SING FOR COMMIES. […]
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Rep. Jim Jordan Drops Shocking Bill: “No Foreign-Born Americans in Congress or the White House!”
Rep. Jim Jordan shook the political world this week when he unveiled his most audacious proposal yet: a bill banning all foreign-born Americans from serving in Congress or holding the office of President. Titled the “Born and Bred in the U.S.A. Act,” it arrived with the subtlety of a bald eagle crashing through a fireworks […]
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Erika Kirk Sues Whoopi Goldberg for $90 Million, Says “She Turned My Hug Into an Affair That Never Happened”
Erika Kirk has filed a $90 million lawsuit against Whoopi Goldberg, accusing the television host of turning what she calls “an innocent, compassionate hug” into “a nationwide adultery scandal that didn’t even exist.” The legal filing, submitted in a Florida court late Thursday, claims Goldberg’s on-air remarks about the viral embrace between Kirk and Vice […]
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Swearing-In Canceled After Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani Refuses to Take Oath on Constitution
In a chaotic scene that shattered the typically drab procedural malaise of the New York State Assembly, the scheduled swearing-in of Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani (D-Astoria) was abruptly canceled Tuesday. The ceremony ground to a halt after Mamdani, a prominent member of the Democratic Socialists of America, reportedly refused to place his hand on the U.S. […]
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Erika Kirk Demands NFL Sack Bad Bunny Booker, “Who Approved This Nonsense?”
There are moments in American history that define eras — the moon landing, the fall of the Berlin Wall, and now, apparently, Erika Kirk’s viral tweet about Bad Bunny. The widow of conservative icon Charlie Kirk and current head of Turning Point USA lit the internet on fire this week when she dropped a one-liner […]
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6 Patriots Vows To Leave The Team If They Sign Colin Kaepernick For The Superbowl Match, “He’s Woke”
You know, you cover professional sports long enough, you think you’ve developed an immunity to the absurd. You’ve seen dynasty-ending scandals, bizarre injuries involving household appliances, and multi-million-dollar press conferences that consist entirely of the word “grunt.” And then, a Tuesday like this happens. Here in New England, things are, for the first time in […]
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BREAKING: Elon Musk Just Donated $500 Million To LGBTQIA+ Community, “I Hope They Find A Cure”
You know, there are days when you wake up, check the news, and think, “Alright, the simulation is stable.” And then there are days when Elon Musk logs onto his own website. Yesterday was one of those days. In a move that has left the entire planet suffering from a collective case of ideological whiplash, […]
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