just in: Budweiser Incurs $800 Million Loss in a Single Day


In a shocking development, Budweiser, the beloved beer brand that has been a staple at backyard barbecues and frat parties for generations, has suffered a massive financial setback.

According to industry insiders, the company’s latest attempt to “go woke” by featuring transgender activist Dylan Mulvaney in their advertising campaign has backfired spectacularly, causing their stock to plummet and resulting in an astonishing loss of nearly $800 million in just one day.

While the move was initially seen as a bold and progressive step forward for the company, it quickly became clear that Budweiser’s core demographic was not thrilled with the inclusion of Mulvaney in its advertising.

Many long-time Budweiser drinkers took to social media to voice their displeasure, with some even calling for a boycott of the brand.

“Look, I’m all for equal rights and all that, but this is just too much,” said one disgruntled Budweiser fan. “I don’t want to see some transgender person telling me what beer to drink. That’s just not what Budweiser is about.”

As the backlash grew, so too did the financial fallout for Budweiser. By the end of the day, the company’s stock had plummeted, wiping out nearly $800 million in market value. Experts say that this kind of sudden, catastrophic loss is almost unprecedented in the world of business.

“Budweiser really dropped the ball on this one,” said financial analyst John Smith. “They underestimated just how much their core customers value traditional gender roles and heteronormativity.

It’s a tough lesson to learn, but I think they’ll be feeling the effects of this for a long time to come.”

As for Mulvaney, the transgender activist at the center of the controversy, she expressed disappointment but not surprise at the backlash.

“Obviously, I’m disappointed that Budweiser’s attempt to be inclusive has been met with such hostility,” she said. “But this is just the reality of the world we live in.

There are still a lot of people out there who are threatened by anyone who doesn’t fit into their narrow idea of what’s ‘normal’.”

At this point, it’s unclear what Budweiser’s next move will be. Some insiders are speculating that they may try to walk back their support for Mulvaney in an attempt to win back their core customers, while others are urging the company to double down on their commitment to diversity and inclusivity.

Whatever they decide, one thing is for sure: the fallout from this debacle is likely to be felt for a long time to come.

Alex Robin

With years of experience in crafting clever and satirical pieces, Alex has made a name for himself as one of the funniest and sharpest writers in the industry. Although his true identity remains a mystery, what is clear is that Alex has a knack for finding the absurdity in everyday situations and turning them into laugh-out-loud funny stories. He has a unique perspective on the world and is always on the lookout for the next big target to skewer with his biting wit. When he's not writing hilarious articles for Esspots.com, Alex enjoys playing practical jokes on his friends and family, watching stand-up comedy, and rooting for his favorite sports teams. He also has a soft spot for animals, particularly his mischievous cat, who often inspires his comedic material.

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