Just in: The Oaklands A’s Are Moving To Vegas And Ditching Greasy Gavin’s California!
The Oakland Athletics, also known as the A’s, have made a bold decision to leave California behind. Specifically, they are abandoning the city of Oakland and the state of California altogether. This move has been prompted by the team’s frustration with the political climate in the state, particularly with Governor Gavin Newsom. The A’s have […]
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Just in: Anheuser Busch Shutting Down Half of US Breweries After “Worst Goof In Marketing History”
Anheuser Busch, the brewing giant responsible for popular beer brands like Budweiser and Bud Light, has announced that it will be closing half of its breweries in the US. The move comes after what has been described as the “worst goof in marketing history,” which has left the company reeling from a PR disaster. It […]
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Just in: Budweiser Brands Won’t Be Welcome at Oktoberfest For The 1st Time in 75 Years
Budweiser Brands Won’t Be Welcome at Oktoberfest For The 1st Time in 75 Years Due to “Unacceptable Taste”. In a shocking move, the organizers of Oktoberfest have announced that Budweiser brands will not be allowed at the festival for the first time in 75 years. The reason? “Unacceptable taste.” “We have received complaints from too […]
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Just in: Gordon Ramsay Shuts Down ‘Drag Kitchen’ Show Due To Whoopi Goldberg
Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has reportedly shut down the new cooking show ‘Drag Kitchen’ due to objections from Whoopi Goldberg. The show featured drag queens cooking up a storm in the kitchen while dressed in their most glamorous attire. According to sources close to Ramsay, Goldberg was “appalled” by the show’s premise and expressed her […]
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Bud Light Now On Sale: Offers Beer Cases for Less Than $5
In the aftermath of the Bud Light fiasco, in which they sent some cans of beer to Dylan Mulvaney in a failed PR stunt, the company has announced a new marketing strategy: selling their product for under $5 a case. According to a Bud Light spokesperson, the company is “trying to make things right” after […]
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Just in: Renowned Neurosurgeon Says Whoopi Goldberg Needs Brain Surgery ‘Immediately’
In a shocking turn of events, it has been reported that Goldberg, the former professional wrestler and current co-host of “The View,” needs brain surgery. Dr. John Smith, a renowned neurosurgeon, has stated that the surgery is “seriously necessary” for Goldberg’s well-being. According to Dr. Smith, Goldberg’s brain has been “seriously damaged” by years of […]
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Elon Musk Causes Budweiser to Suffer an $800 Million Loss
In a stunning turn of events, beer giant Budweiser has announced an $800 million loss after the recent Bud Light fiasco, which involved the shipment of several cases of beer to Dylan Mulvaney. The debacle was apparently sparked by a tweet from none other than Elon Musk, the eccentric billionaire and CEO of Tesla and […]
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Anheuser Busch to discontinue and rebrand their flagship beer: Bud Light
In a shocking move, Anheuser Busch has announced that they will be discontinuing their flagship beer brand, Bud Light, following a recent PR disaster. The decision comes after a series of unfortunate events that began when a case of Bud Light was sent to Dylan Mulvaney, a man from Michigan who had never shown any […]
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Lia Thomas Announces Desire to Revert To Be Male Again: “I’ve Accomplished My Goals”
In a surprising turn of events, Lia Thomas, the transgender swimmer who made headlines for competing on the women’s team at the NCAA championships, has announced that she wants to transition back to being male. In a statement to the media, Thomas explained that while she had enjoyed her time as a female athlete, she […]
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Tucker Carlson Gives Patriotism Lesson to Whoopi Goldberg: “You Have Never Loved Any Country”
Fox News host Tucker Carlson has once again stirred up controversy with his latest comments, this time targeting co-host of “The View,” Whoopi Goldberg. During a recent segment on his show, Carlson gave Goldberg a master class in patriotism, claiming that she has never loved any country. “I hate to break it to you, Whoopi, […]
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