TRUE: Elon Musk Bans CMT From Twitter in Show of Support for Jason Aldean
In a move as unpredictable as a bucking bronco at a rodeo, Twitter owner Elon Musk has taken a stance that’s causing a stir in the twittersphere. Proving that the real world has more drama than a country music song, Musk has banned Country Music Television (CMT) from Twitter. Why, you ask? As an ostentatious […]
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Breaking News: Anheuser-Busch Files a Staggering $100 Billion Defamation Suit Against Elon Musk
It’s a case of billionaires colliding. Anheuser-Busch InBev, the multinational drink and brewing conglomerate, has hit Twitter’s new CEO, Elon Musk, with a staggering $100 billion defamation lawsuit. The grounds for the suit – defamation. In what promises to be a courtroom battle for the ages, the parent company of Bud Light alleges Musk defamed […]
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Just in: Alec Baldwin Calls Elon Musk ‘A Scumbag’ On ‘The View’, Musk reacts
It is a truth universally acknowledged that when a Hollywood celebrity and a tech billionaire feud, the most likely place for this would be, without a doubt, daytime talk show, “The View”. Last Tuesday, audiences were served a heaping portion of this unexpected yet somehow mundane drama when Alec Baldwin, renowned for his fiery temperament, […]
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Harvard Alumna Causes Stir Online by Walking Out on Merrick Garland’s Speech
Emma Heussner, a recent Harvard alumna and current social media director for the Daily Caller, made headlines when she left her own commencement ceremony as Merrick Garland, the controversial Attorney General under the Biden administration, took the stage to deliver his speech. Heussner later shared her thoughts in an interview, expressing her disbelief at the […]
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Anheuser Busch to discontinue and rebrand their flagship beer: Bud Light
In a shocking move, Anheuser Busch has announced that they will be discontinuing their flagship beer brand, Bud Light, following a recent PR disaster. The decision comes after a series of unfortunate events that began when a case of Bud Light was sent to Dylan Mulvaney, a man from Michigan who had never shown any […]
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Bud Light’s Mistake Nets Kid Rock Over $30 Million in Earnings
In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that Kid Rock has made more than $30 million dollars from Bud Light’s mistake of endorsing Dylan Mulvaney instead of him. Sources close to the situation say that Kid Rock had been quietly seething after Bud Light mistakenly endorsed Dylan Mulvaney, a relatively unknown country […]
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Jack Daniels’ ‘Woke’ Statement Costs Company $100 Million in Sales and Counting
In what can only be described as a sobering turn of events, Jack Daniels has announced that it lost a staggering $100 million in one “woke” weekend. The whiskey company’s woes began when it released a statement expressing support for the Black Lives Matter movement and pledging to do more to promote diversity and inclusion. […]
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Spielberg’s ‘Color Purple’ Sequel Drops Whoopi Goldberg
In a move that has left fans reeling, it has been announced that Whoopi Goldberg will not be reprising her role in the upcoming sequel to Steven Spielberg’s ‘The Color Purple.’ Sources close to the production say that Goldberg was let go due to creative differences with the director, though rumors abound that she was […]
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Bud Light’s Fiasco Causes Over $1 Billion in Losses, Leaving Investors Fuming
In a stunning turn of events, the Bud Light Fiasco has reportedly cost the company over $1 billion in losses, leaving investors absolutely furious. The debacle began when Bud Light decided to release a new line of flavored beers, including such questionable flavors as Bacon and Maple Syrup, Spicy Nacho Cheese, and Ranch Dressing. Despite […]
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Tucker Carlson Gives Patriotism Lesson to Whoopi Goldberg: “You Have Never Loved Any Country”
Fox News host Tucker Carlson has once again stirred up controversy with his latest comments, this time targeting co-host of “The View,” Whoopi Goldberg. During a recent segment on his show, Carlson gave Goldberg a master class in patriotism, claiming that she has never loved any country. “I hate to break it to you, Whoopi, […]
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