Just in: Elon Musk Inflicts a $800 Million Blow to Budweiser
In what could be a new chapter in ‘The Eccentric Adventures of Elon Musk,’ our flamboyant billionaire has added a new feat to his resume – costing Budweiser $800 million, all thanks to a tweet. Yes, you read it right! Musk, in his new role as Twitter CEO, has once again proved that he doesn’t […]
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Just in: Budweiser Brands Won’t Be Welcome at Oktoberfest For The 1st Time in 75 Years
Budweiser Brands Won’t Be Welcome at Oktoberfest For The 1st Time in 75 Years Due to “Unacceptable Taste”. In a shocking move, the organizers of Oktoberfest have announced that Budweiser brands will not be allowed at the festival for the first time in 75 years. The reason? “Unacceptable taste.” “We have received complaints from too […]
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Elon Musk Causes Budweiser to Suffer an $800 Million Loss
In a stunning turn of events, beer giant Budweiser has announced an $800 million loss after the recent Bud Light fiasco, which involved the shipment of several cases of beer to Dylan Mulvaney. The debacle was apparently sparked by a tweet from none other than Elon Musk, the eccentric billionaire and CEO of Tesla and […]
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NASCAR cuts ties with Budweiser over “woke” values
In a shocking move that has sent shockwaves through the racing world, NASCAR has announced that it is dropping its long-standing sponsorship deal with Budweiser, citing concerns that the beer brand has become too “woke” in recent years. According to sources close to the decision, NASCAR officials became increasingly uncomfortable with Budweiser’s public statements on […]
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Pabst outshines Budweiser: Bags $124m exclusive beer deal with Kid Rock’s world tour
In a surprising move that has left many in the beer industry scratching their heads, Pabst Brewing Company has reportedly snatched a $124 million deal from Budweiser to become the “exclusive provider” for Kid Rock’s upcoming world tour. According to sources close to the deal, Pabst was able to woo the “American Bad Ass” singer […]
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Just in: Budweiser Loses Top Spot as Best-Selling Beer After 60 Years
In a stunning upset, Budweiser has fallen out as the number-one-selling beer in the United States for the first time in 60 years. The iconic brand, known for its distinctive red and white can, has been knocked off its perch by an upstart craft brewery from Portland, Oregon. The brewery, which goes by the name […]
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just in: Budweiser Incurs $800 Million Loss in a Single Day
In a shocking development, Budweiser, the beloved beer brand that has been a staple at backyard barbecues and frat parties for generations, has suffered a massive financial setback. According to industry insiders, the company’s latest attempt to “go woke” by featuring transgender activist Dylan Mulvaney in their advertising campaign has backfired spectacularly, causing their stock […]
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