ABC Fires Entire Staff Amid Debate Backlash, “It Was Our Biggest Mistake”
In a corporate purge worthy of a dystopian novel, ABC has decided to fire its entire staff after the network found itself at the center of a post-debate backlash tsunami. From seasoned anchors to cafeteria workers, no one was safe from the network’s hasty response to the uproar that followed its now-infamous Trump vs. Harris […]
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Breaking: Garth Brooks’ Attempt to Rap at Country Music Festival Ends with Boos
The world of country music is known for its rich traditions, heartfelt lyrics, and passionate fanbase. Artists like Garth Brooks have achieved legendary status by staying true to the genre’s roots. However, during a recent country music festival, Garth Brooks decided to experiment with a new style, attempting to incorporate rap elements into his performance. […]
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Male Disneyland Employee’s Fairy Godmother Costume Sparks Outrage
A Disneyland employee’s choice of costume has sparked controversy and triggered a wave of calls for boycotting the popular entertainment resort. The employee, a male cast member, was dressed as a ‘Fairy Godmother’s apprentice,’ donning a blue and purple dress and sporting a mustache. The incident unfolded at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique in Anaheim, California, […]
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Kohl’s Pride Collection for Kids Sparks Outrage
Retail giant Kohl’s is currently facing a significant wave of criticism after conservative individuals shed light on the company’s Pride-themed merchandise designed for children. The collection features a delightful onesie adorned with adorable cartoon characters proudly holding a rainbow-colored flag, aiming to celebrate the spirit of Pride Month. Unfortunately for Kohl’s, this controversy has had […]
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Jack Daniels’ ‘Woke’ Statement Costs Company $100 Million in Sales and Counting
In what can only be described as a sobering turn of events, Jack Daniels has announced that it lost a staggering $100 million in one “woke” weekend. The whiskey company’s woes began when it released a statement expressing support for the Black Lives Matter movement and pledging to do more to promote diversity and inclusion. […]
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just in: Budweiser Incurs $800 Million Loss in a Single Day
In a shocking development, Budweiser, the beloved beer brand that has been a staple at backyard barbecues and frat parties for generations, has suffered a massive financial setback. According to industry insiders, the company’s latest attempt to “go woke” by featuring transgender activist Dylan Mulvaney in their advertising campaign has backfired spectacularly, causing their stock […]
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Backlash Against “Woke” Peter Pan Results in Record-Low Pre-Sale for Disney
Disney’s highly anticipated “Woke Peter Pan” reboot appears to be in serious trouble, as reports indicate that it has had the worst pre-sale numbers in the company’s history. According to sources close to the project, the film, which aims to modernize the classic tale of Peter Pan with a “woke” twist, has been met with […]
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Candace Cameron Bure Joins The View and Brings Fire: ‘I’m Not Afraid of Them!'”
In a surprising turn of events, Candace Cameron Bure has announced that she will be joining the cast of The View as a permanent co-host. Despite the show’s reputation for heated debates and controversial topics, Bure has confidently declared, “I’m not afraid of them.” Bure, known for her conservative views and outspoken Christian faith, is […]
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Breaking: Kid Rock Signs $20 Million Deal with Miller, Tells Bud Light to “F*** Off”
Kid Rock, the notorious American musician and self-proclaimed “badass”, has just signed a whopping $40 million sponsorship deal with Miller beer. The announcement came as a shock to many in the industry, as Kid Rock has long been associated with Budweiser. But according to sources close to the deal, Kid Rock was lured away by […]
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